Ecclesiastes 9

"I have observed something else under the sun. The fastest runner doesn’t always win the race, and the strongest warrior doesn’t always win the battle. The wise sometimes go hungry, and the skillful are not necessarily wealthy. And those who are educated don’t always lead successful lives. It is all decided by chance, by being in the right place at the right time."
-Ecclesiastes 9:11

Life.
There is every reason to be bitter, to be cynical and to give up.
But there is life, light and a reason to smile.
Love.
Shown to me, given to me, hugs, kisses, prayers, emails, texts, letters...reminders that there is a reason I am breathing, that there is a reason I have refused to just lay down and die.

I can never quite fathom or express how much physical pain I am.
The fact I FEEL and have such strong emotional and mental responses to everything can just turn things into this...maze, this swamp of emotions and clouds of doubt.

But I feel Your love.
Just as much as I feel this pain.
My spine, my stomach, my head...all hurt...
But my soul, my heart, my mind...are enraptured by this impossible love.

"And so one morning just before dawn You came
Out of the forest towards my window
With a smile in Your hand
As the moist air up to Your knees started swirling like smoke
I saw Your lips move
Asking: Did you lose something
I stood glued to the window

Emotions running through my vein
How I know a word I can’t explain

I think I’ve known you all along
Just lost Your face in the crowd for awhile
I think I have been holding my breath all my life
Can I exhale and go into exile
Ask me now and I’ll run away with You

And so with the dawn You’ve come
Eye to eye with nothing in between but this fragile glass
Your lips move again
I try but I can’t detect the vibrations in the air
How I’ve longed to inhale Your breath
It’s still early and I see your words getting caught
In the window slowly turning into frost

I see Your hand move and I can’t detain
Scraping down a word I can’t explain

I think I’ve known you all along
Just lost Your face in the crowd for awhile
I think I have been holding my breath all my life
Can I exhale and go into exile
Ask me now and I’ll run away with You"


Can I run away?
Be safe in Your arms?
Feel the peace beyond understanding
and know, just know
that You will chase away all my fear
all the monsters
and know that forever
I will be loved?