Thursday, July 16, 2009
Short of Flying
It is...scary but reliving to know I am not in control. What little that is entrusted to me is screwed up enough...
Yesterday was a good day so I forgot to write...today was a good day...up until the...it wasn't a fight...or an argument...a chiding or scolding wouldn't be correct either...a reminder of where I am, where I am not...and just shadows of imperfection around the fading light.
How is it 2007 is so far in the past? Or 2004? Or really 1986? These numbers...periods of time with no real meaning outside of reflections...1989 and 1994...my heart being ripped
out before I knew it could be.
There is just such a large amount of confusion wrapped around doubt.
I hate caring, the energy invested in people that so often leads to pain...I mean me saying that is like wishing I didn't need water or oxygen...asinine childish thoughts.
"But the world is ugly,
The world is ugly even after you"
Running surely won't work either.
Mindless self indulgence has exhausted itself.
Yesterday was a good day so I forgot to write...today was a good day...up until the...it wasn't a fight...or an argument...a chiding or scolding wouldn't be correct either...a reminder of where I am, where I am not...and just shadows of imperfection around the fading light.
How is it 2007 is so far in the past? Or 2004? Or really 1986? These numbers...periods of time with no real meaning outside of reflections...1989 and 1994...my heart being ripped
out before I knew it could be.
There is just such a large amount of confusion wrapped around doubt.
I hate caring, the energy invested in people that so often leads to pain...I mean me saying that is like wishing I didn't need water or oxygen...asinine childish thoughts.
"But the world is ugly,
The world is ugly even after you"
Running surely won't work either.
Mindless self indulgence has exhausted itself.
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