Chest pain is a new symptom...God I hope this doesn't get much worse tonight.
I'll live...I just feel weak and...so...strange.

*sigh*

I can't win.

I can't find church...

It's weird reading over the past couple of years...keeping this blog is encouraging...well not because some problems have persisted over two years...but because I have hope that the dawn is coming.

Thank You for Your love...and everyone, thank you for reading this, for praying, for the messages.

Special thanks to you, yeah you know who you are.

Yeah.

=)

"With Pollyanna" - Bill Eager

I believe the morning sun
Always gonna shine again and
I believe a pot of gold
Waits at every rainbow's end
I believe in roses kissed with dew
Why shouldn't I believe the same in you?

I believe in make-believe
Fairy tales and lucky charms and
I believe in promises
Spoken as you cross your heart
I believe in skies forever blue
Why shouldn't I believe the same in you?

You may say I'm a fool
Feelin' the way that I do
You can call me Pollyanna
Say I'm crazy as a loon
I believe in silver linings
And that's why I believe in you

I believe there'll come a day
Maybe it will be tomorrow
When the bluebird flies away
All we have to do is follow
I believe a dream can still come true
Why shouldn't I believe the same in you?

You may say I'm a fool
Feelin' the way that I do
I believe in friends and laughter
And the wonders love can do
I believe in songs and magic
And that's why I believe in you

You may say I'm a fool
Feelin' this way about you
There's not much I can do
I'm gonna be this way my life through
'Cause I still believe in miracles
I swear I've seen a few
And the time will surely come
When you can see my point of view
I believe in second chances
And that's why I believe in you

I want to believe in infinite possibilities,
that Love, eternal Love wins.
That the pain cannot last through the morning
and that the Beauty
the intoxicating Beauty
that found me will carry me
and never let me be the same.
I need You more now than ever
and more today
and will need You more tomorrow
carry me please.
I need You.

Trigun quotes

"People who sin say this, that they had to, to survive. People who sin say this, that it's too late now to stop. The shadow called Sin dogs them steadily from behind, silently, without a word. Remorse and Agony are repeated, only to end up at Despair in the end. But the sinners just don't know, that if they'd only turn around, there is a light there, a light which keeps shining on them ever so warmly. A light that will never fade."

"Strong will can stir the heart, but a will too strong can cut off the hearts visibility. The sorrow of a man bewreathed of his family turns to hate, which eventually metamorphoses into the intent to kill. The man’s finger reaches for the trigger. Sins change people. Sin begets sin. But still, I want to believe, I want to believe in the heart, the heart that feels the sin."

Two days...no sleep...ah fine...I'll survive...this is nothing...I've done worse...

I am not really sure.

The less I know...the more intriguing it is but the more confusing it is too.

A breath of air.

It is nice too.

"Stay (Faraway, So Close!)" - U2

"And if you listen I can't call
And if you jump, you just might fall
And if you shout, I'll only hear you
If I could stay then the night would give you up
Stay then the day would keep its trust
Stay with the demons you drowned
Stay with the spirit I found
Stay and the night would be enough"