Quote of the Day:

“I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”
-Bill Cosby

Yes.

Sometimes I do in fact surprise myself.

Dear Jesus

I'm here, confused as always and just hoping to find grace after such a long struggle.

Words are all I have and they are so cheap.

How do I begin to even speak sincerely after all the lies, the doubts, the fears, the hate, the lusts, the pride and all the self destructive wastes of time?

I will never be able to look you in the eye because of how much shame I feel...not just for surviving or being alive...but knowing how I relentlessly turn away from those you send to me...and I just want to hide with me and never see the light again.

But, why and how...you love me?
Not just narcissistic me.
But...this world, those hurting and broken...knowing they can't do this life alone and need love just as desperately as me.

All this aching, all this pining, worry and stress...

What matters?
What truly matters?

Is there anything besides love?
You are so just, so loving, caring, so much more than I can scarcely dare to dream...

Thank you.
Thank you for a new day to live and smile.
Thank you for my loved ones...friends and family who carry me when I am too weak to continue in this broken body.

Such beauty, such wonder.
Infinite splendor
and the priceless pearl
in this broken world of dirtiness.
Thank you now and forever.

Fear!

Loathing!

Excitement!

Yes Nanowrimo!

=D