"Have mercy on me, LORD, for I am in distress.
Tears blur my eyes.
My body and soul are withering away.
I am dying from grief;
my years are shortened by sadness.
Sin has drained my strength;
I am wasting away from within."
-Psalm 31:9-10
I know there is Hope, Love and Grace.
But the waiting,
the pain of seconds becoming minutes becoming hours,
how long,
how long shall I wait?
Till my age increases
and my hair becomes fully gray
and these belittled bones into dust?
Some say it is melodrama
but my life is empty, incomplete
and at such a loss
without You, Abba, Father.
These words are nothing without You.
For it is You who gives meaning,
that creates a purpose
from being awake until dreaming,
all of the pain has this purpose
but it only is derived from You.
What shall I do?
What can I do?
What must I do?
These songs are fleeting
but I feel Your melody,
it is within me
and far without
as I wait here.
Lost in dreams
becoming nightmares,
stuck in this Beyond
never knowing
or sure.
Lover please Love me.
Do not be distant.
Or wait till I have decayed from doubt and pain,
rescue me.
Once again.
This is a trap and pain of my own devising
but You alone can rescue me.
Only You are wonderful, beautiful and perfect.
These ashes of my life will be scattered soon,
so please do not tarry.
Do not tarry Love.
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