“Truth is so obscure in these times, and falsehood so established, that, unless we love the truth, we cannot know it.”
-Blaise Pascal
Monday, December 14, 2009
"It's good to be alive..."
In so many ways it's so nice to just...feel free and that the constant worry and fear is dissipating.
Last night was troublesome because my brother in law may have had a heart attack...and me being several states away and not really being able to help comfort my near hysterical sister did not...help things.
I'm so disappointed with the whole concept of...family.
Being here is redefining it in ways I'm not sure I realized.
Why is the Christian majority so ignorant and think morality exists only within our fractured and screwed up bubble?
I'm staying with people who do not share my faith...my love of Jesus and I know so many people who would be disturbed by that...who would oppose me and say it's wrong. That is such crap...I have been shown more kindness and love by those who oppose Christ than the charlatans posing as wolves in sheep clothing.
Do you have any idea how outright disturbing that is to me?
Where is this love of Christ?
It's not my faith in Jesus that is wavering...it's just my ability to even trust that other followers are sincere...it's so easy to live in a bubble and judge the world...but this isn't my goal.
I want to love Christ and have that love overflow so perpetually that is overwhelms...that is catches my breath in every way it does...and that maybe it will for others.
It has something...I find amazing and touching and moving in ways I haven't seen and felt in a while...
"These men who have turned the world upside down have now come here...they are all defying Caesar's decrees, saying that there is another king, one called Jesus."
-Acts 17:6-7
I miss that...fire to want to turn the world upside down with Love...the biggest accusations against the early church and the ones I want to be lambasted for. I want to be called a bastard, an atheist for defying the religious and daring to love EVERYONE, those who judge and hate me...as well as the "Least of these" those who would NEVER dare to believe that Jesus loves them for them...
I may be dangerous, I may be on the line of heresy...but unless Jesus loves everyone than I am starting to feel He may love no one. It's not my place to judge or say who is worthy, who is going to Hell and who is deserving...for none of us would have dared to chosen or dared to believe we could be loved...by the Lover.
I refuse to let bigotry or religious/pious double speak be my focus...I want it to be pure love, love that cuts deep and goes beyond words...and is merely my faith being poetry in motion.
I'm going to be visiting with some friends of theirs who live what I can most politely say as being "alternative" lifestyles...and you know what? Jesus would be there, Jesus will be there.
"We have to prove that our love is real, over and over again.
But let them think what they want cause I know It'll never end.
Cause I know when it began.
And my heart still pumps twice as fast whenever You walk by.
Cause I still love you.
So I think I'll stay, caught up in silent prayer,
cause I believe in silence.
Our hearts speak the same words.
So why don't we just walk along the shoreline with our silent song?
Cause I believe in silence.
Our hearts speak the same words, the same words."
-Blindside, "Silence"
Last night was troublesome because my brother in law may have had a heart attack...and me being several states away and not really being able to help comfort my near hysterical sister did not...help things.
I'm so disappointed with the whole concept of...family.
Being here is redefining it in ways I'm not sure I realized.
Why is the Christian majority so ignorant and think morality exists only within our fractured and screwed up bubble?
I'm staying with people who do not share my faith...my love of Jesus and I know so many people who would be disturbed by that...who would oppose me and say it's wrong. That is such crap...I have been shown more kindness and love by those who oppose Christ than the charlatans posing as wolves in sheep clothing.
Do you have any idea how outright disturbing that is to me?
Where is this love of Christ?
It's not my faith in Jesus that is wavering...it's just my ability to even trust that other followers are sincere...it's so easy to live in a bubble and judge the world...but this isn't my goal.
I want to love Christ and have that love overflow so perpetually that is overwhelms...that is catches my breath in every way it does...and that maybe it will for others.
It has something...I find amazing and touching and moving in ways I haven't seen and felt in a while...
"These men who have turned the world upside down have now come here...they are all defying Caesar's decrees, saying that there is another king, one called Jesus."
-Acts 17:6-7
I miss that...fire to want to turn the world upside down with Love...the biggest accusations against the early church and the ones I want to be lambasted for. I want to be called a bastard, an atheist for defying the religious and daring to love EVERYONE, those who judge and hate me...as well as the "Least of these" those who would NEVER dare to believe that Jesus loves them for them...
I may be dangerous, I may be on the line of heresy...but unless Jesus loves everyone than I am starting to feel He may love no one. It's not my place to judge or say who is worthy, who is going to Hell and who is deserving...for none of us would have dared to chosen or dared to believe we could be loved...by the Lover.
I refuse to let bigotry or religious/pious double speak be my focus...I want it to be pure love, love that cuts deep and goes beyond words...and is merely my faith being poetry in motion.
I'm going to be visiting with some friends of theirs who live what I can most politely say as being "alternative" lifestyles...and you know what? Jesus would be there, Jesus will be there.
"We have to prove that our love is real, over and over again.
But let them think what they want cause I know It'll never end.
Cause I know when it began.
And my heart still pumps twice as fast whenever You walk by.
Cause I still love you.
So I think I'll stay, caught up in silent prayer,
cause I believe in silence.
Our hearts speak the same words.
So why don't we just walk along the shoreline with our silent song?
Cause I believe in silence.
Our hearts speak the same words, the same words."
-Blindside, "Silence"
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