"The Jordan is waiting for me to cross through
My heart is aging I can tell
So Lord I'm begging for one last favor from You
Here's my heart take it where You will

This life has shown me how we're mended and how we're torn
How it's okay to be lonely as long as you're free
Sometimes my ground was stoney
And sometimes covered up with thorns
And only You could make it what it had to be
And now that it's done
Well, if they dressed me like a pauper
Or if they dined me like a prince
If they lay me with my fathers
Or if my ashes scatter on the wind
I don't care

But when I leave I want to go out like Elijah
With a whirlwind to fuel my chariot of fire
And when I look back on the stars
Well, It'll be like a candlelight in Central Park
And it won't break my heart to say goodbye"

Oh dear.

Quote of the Day:

“You can only come to the morning through the shadows.”
-J.R.R. Tolkien

Bleeding Sentiments

My soul, oh my soul is so exhausted.
It lays here in my sick body just broken
and crippled from fear.

Every step forward is a dance back into the night
as I strive to feel
and face to the east while daring to hope
that I might see dawn's first light.

I have held broken lies
posing as eternal truth
and spread heresy
just because it was in this season,
while really I wanted
was to feel You.

I want to feel the Love I fear
and know the eternal is near,
everything is fading and burning
but my faith will endure.

My fear is that I am but straw,
useless chafe
not even fit for the stables
of my Lord God.

The stories I weaved with my imagination
never live up to reality,
I have the audacity to cry out
when my plans fail
and I blame my Lord for the failure that is mine.
Why such indignation?
Why such futility at claiming nothing?

It was never about others
just my selfish pursuit.
I'm just a bastard child of the kingdom,
an invalid barely scraping in.
And still,
somehow
and someway
I am loved.

Despite the vile beast I am,
there is love and grace to cover
even a sinner such as I.

Such unfathomable beauty,
such eternal wonders.
My heart can never comprehend
nor give thanks enough for.
But from here until eternity
I will live
casting my words to the heavens
in praise for the Redeemer,
the Lamb and Lord.