Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Trying to Sort...
So little has any real meaning...that isn't ripped apart by the madness of subjectivity...here we are...now what?
I'm bottoming out...I'm breaking apart and it feels like I'm free falling with no sense of direction.
If I sit here, If I lay here begging for help...strength to stand...will You bother to meet me halfway?
I don't know how to put this in words to where people can actually understand...it's frustrating that it seems that only the Divine know why...and can understand...but the words are so futile.
It still hurts.
Deep inside.
My heart is screaming to You in the middle of this off key notes and over the sounds of cracking bone. Even though I'm a false child of Israel my brethren are the Pharisees and serpents. From my cradle and until my grave you will see my hypocrisy and the hate I've sown in Your name...my childish ignorance has never been an excuse, nothing is to be explained because the failure is obvious.
You, You are truth.
My existential hypocrisy is rotting my heart and still...You have carried my sin, my poison, this living corpse that needs to be renewed.
I've seen too much death...I've lost so much...does the hollow feeling ever go away? How can I miss someone I barely knew so much?
"Jesus bless the crocodiles, forgive the cobras and all the snakes
Open up your arms to carry all of our mistakes
Forgive the basilisk, forgive the moccasins and adders too
Have mercy on each alligator that never lived for you
I myself hatched from an egg, no white light from above
Just another ancient serpent that never earned your love
But still you find me underneath the rocks and in the ground
I cowered there just short of air and never made a sound
It’s true that I’m in love with you, and even in my shame
You wipe away the imperfections and take away the pain
You wrap your loving arms around this wretched thing called me
Your love is all I’ll ever need, your love has set me free
The truth is only you"
-Showbread, "Age of Reptiles"
"Thomas said, "Master, we have no idea where you're going. How do you expect us to know the road?"
Jesus said, "I am the Road, also the Truth, also the Life. No one gets to the Father apart from me. If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him. You've even seen him!""
-John 14:5-7
I'm bottoming out...I'm breaking apart and it feels like I'm free falling with no sense of direction.
If I sit here, If I lay here begging for help...strength to stand...will You bother to meet me halfway?
I don't know how to put this in words to where people can actually understand...it's frustrating that it seems that only the Divine know why...and can understand...but the words are so futile.
It still hurts.
Deep inside.
My heart is screaming to You in the middle of this off key notes and over the sounds of cracking bone. Even though I'm a false child of Israel my brethren are the Pharisees and serpents. From my cradle and until my grave you will see my hypocrisy and the hate I've sown in Your name...my childish ignorance has never been an excuse, nothing is to be explained because the failure is obvious.
You, You are truth.
My existential hypocrisy is rotting my heart and still...You have carried my sin, my poison, this living corpse that needs to be renewed.
I've seen too much death...I've lost so much...does the hollow feeling ever go away? How can I miss someone I barely knew so much?
"Jesus bless the crocodiles, forgive the cobras and all the snakes
Open up your arms to carry all of our mistakes
Forgive the basilisk, forgive the moccasins and adders too
Have mercy on each alligator that never lived for you
I myself hatched from an egg, no white light from above
Just another ancient serpent that never earned your love
But still you find me underneath the rocks and in the ground
I cowered there just short of air and never made a sound
It’s true that I’m in love with you, and even in my shame
You wipe away the imperfections and take away the pain
You wrap your loving arms around this wretched thing called me
Your love is all I’ll ever need, your love has set me free
The truth is only you"
-Showbread, "Age of Reptiles"
"Thomas said, "Master, we have no idea where you're going. How do you expect us to know the road?"
Jesus said, "I am the Road, also the Truth, also the Life. No one gets to the Father apart from me. If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him. You've even seen him!""
-John 14:5-7
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