"What shall we use
To fill the empty spaces
Where we used to talk?
How shall I fill
The final places?
How should I complete the wall...?"

God I hate cynicism.
It's a cancer eating at me.
Ripping at my soul.
Reminding me of being human.

If I could just judge and write off people...I could be as selfrighteous as I wanted.
God look at me.
Do you see your son?
The pain and misery around me?
Just a glimpse of it all?


I'm having trouble caring or keeping focus,
when all I do is want it to end.
To have the pain finish
and conclude.

I have more words...too many words.
Wasted words.
Exhausted words.
Bloodies, bruised and battered words.

Words that make me ask...why, how and what for?
So much pain, so much pointlessness.

And THAT is why I hate humans.
All of it, every last one, can't stand the toxic, disgusting and degenerating smell of the rot...the lies, the betraying...the stabbing at the first opportune moment...

But the beauty of Christ...carrying so much pain, the anguish and sins...

I am not perfect.
I cannot love.
But God can love.
Can love even through one as broken as I.

That is a miracle beyond words.