Open Window, Fresh Breeze

The sun hovered just beyond the horizon this morning, hiding behind endless layers of clouds. The light has not been too bright and the early morning hours never really got beyond hues of blueish gray.

You can smell the city on the breeze.

A bizarre mixture of fast food, oil, smog and pollen.

The sound is just as mixed with the calls of birds, reeving of motors and the occasional cries of a person or cat.

I wish it was possible to make sense of what is going on inside of me...as I can with what is going on outside the window.

There are proper nouns, objects, places, people and things...and inside of me there is this raging sea full of so many insufficient metaphors which seem to make less sense as the days go by.

Is this normal?

Surely I'm not the only one to question the reality of the world.
How we can be created to feel so much good and bad...and how a good God does Love.
It's far more painful to be Loved than ignored, hated or rejected.
Love drives in between the scales of armor and pierces the heart like nothing else can hope to ever do.

If you ever want to destroy someone totally, do not use hate.
Use love.
It rips apart the fabric of their very being and in its place...something new grows.

And this raging sea persists.
Tides rise and fall.
Cycles begin, end and than continue.
Day in and day out.
Hours and seconds tick away.
Those ticks become a black mark on the calendar by my door.

This madness we call life.
We live, we live and we live.
Every second with static and noise that only sometimes makes sense and in those miraculous moments somehow life happens in all of its imperfectly beautiful ways.