"Scarlet" - U2

"Blind" - Kevin Max

Blissful Interloping Pain

Jesus, why do I bother to open my mouth?

I talk about how it feels like, how much pain I am in, like razor blades mixed with liquid fire, well I deserve worse than that for complaining so much when there are those worse off then me.

I'm singing so poor
so far off the key
that I don't want this
I want to leave by the door
and leave this forevermore
and just ditch this useless day
and live at night by candlelight.

My eyes stopped seeing
around the time
my heart stopped feeling
it's almost worth the tears
to just say again
how this is criminal,
knowing I betrayed You
by this heartbeat
and every thought I had
was about me, never You.

I would ask to feel hope
but no one numb can
at all.
Redistributed
and fallin
just fallen in here
falling to You
falling for You
and praying it hurts
when I crash
and break through this ice.

Not just because I hate me
but because I love You.
Take these nerve strands,
just unwind them
let me feel again,
let me love again
just take these prayerful
foolish inkling of wanting me
instead of just You.

"If I Could Make It Work In Life" - Kevin Max

There is nothing quite like the feeling of irrelevancy to bring out my feelings of feeling completely and utterly useless.

"This Is Who We Are" - As I Lay Dying

Now this is who we are
I am no one's hero
For we are not the giant men
That some may think
You are faithful when we are not
So I'd like to tell this story
The way it is meant to be
Without the burden that's in our hearts
None of us would have ever found You
For You are faithful when we are not
You began a work
That only you can complete

Now this is who we are
I'll never know the answers
And I'll always wonder why

...Why we're given grace we'll never deserve
And a second chance that we will never earn
For there is nothing I can do to save myself

Now this is who we are
I'll never know the answers
And I'll always wonder why
But You have let me start again
I'd rather be called weak
Than die thinking I was strong

I wish I could have driven down to Tampa to see U2 against last night...apparently it was almost the exact same set list as Tuesday...but I don't care.


"And we're beaten and blown by the wind
Blown by the wind
When I got there, I go there with you
It's all I can do"

It's the small things in life...which make life worth living.

The conversations, the sunsets, the blades of grass and the sick cat sleeping on my right foot.

The darkness may seem impossible...but it never is.
We are blinded by our finite nature...and all of these things will work out, have to work out for the best.

I can't say I understand everything...all the pain...every vivid exposure of the soul...but I can say thank you for showing up. Taking the time to speak and being willing to take a second to laugh.

It's the small moments that I think we're all be thankful for when this confusing ride is over.