Indifference, Cancer of the Soul

"This vacant emptiness,
this hollow is eating
stabs through my side like thorns, so defeating.
The glint of gold, sparks of silver, shining
the slightest breath of why we're pining.
We take the crumbs like our hearts are at peace
We are far too easily pleased

Quicksilver, quicksilver
Shadows dodge and fade
something less than why we're made

I need this burning inside me
this brilliant aura, this electricity
I'm being haunted by specters of what might be
of imperfections, of nearness to beauty
As life butchers, so sweet yet so sickening
we have betrayed, for each tiny flickering"
-Roper, "Quicksilver"

"The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of beauty is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, but indifference between life and death...Indifference, to me, is the epitome of evil."

"I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented."
-Elie Wiesel



It has become second nature for me to question my motives, why I write and go on all of these rather ridiculous tangents. I really like U2 and my fellow narcissist Bono for the contradictory fact he is a millionaire and spends a lot of his free time and money on the idea of a spiritual, physical and financial renaissance of Africa.

I really can't tell you what my niche is but I thrive off of praise, strut about like a literary peacock and why not? At heart, I am like every artist who is a needy narcissist who will always be seeking the flitting glimmers of human praise.

Which, is self-defeating and oxymoronic considering how I want to point people (Christians especially) to our (read that as MINE, MY, ME) gross hypocrisies, apathy and the general failings of the church towards loving one another, stopping needless and stupid deaths and you know...helping old ladies cross the street.

Which ultimately I think is okay because this is coming from the guy who does his Bible reading while regularly listening to Nine Inch Nails (Might I take this time to recommend the free live album "The Gift"? http://thisoneisonus.org/node/34) so feel free to expect contradiction, exaggeration, satire, malcontent and the fact I am trying to come to terms with the fact I was born human.

I had a point that seems to have been misplaced in all the tangents...something about apathy.

I think.

Ah...here we are:



"Keep on loving each other as brothers and sisters. Don’t forget to show hospitality to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it! Remember those in prison, as if you were there yourself. Remember also those being mistreated, as if you felt their pain in your own bodies."
-Hebrews 13:1-3



"“But when the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit upon his glorious throne. All the nations will be gathered in his presence, and he will separate the people as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will place the sheep at his right hand and the goats at his left.

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’

“Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’

“And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’

“Then the King will turn to those on the left and say, ‘Away with you, you cursed ones, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his demons. For I was hungry, and you didn’t feed me. I was thirsty, and you didn’t give me a drink. I was a stranger, and you didn’t invite me into your home. I was naked, and you didn’t give me clothing. I was sick and in prison, and you didn’t visit me.’

“Then they will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and not help you?’

“And he will answer, ‘I tell you the truth, when you refused to help the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me.’

“And they will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous will go into eternal life.”"
-Matthew 25:31-46



I quote those above passages, along with the Sermon on the Mount, enough times that I feel like I am running up to each one of you in your your living room and smacking you in the face with a stick that had these verses carved on it.

I am also smacking myself as well and if you get tired of it you don't have to read my silly words.

How do I follow up to the words of the man who claimed to be Messiah, Savior, Creator and God? Either he has/had a severe issue of mental illness, suffered some fairly bad biography writing or was true to his words, every last one of them.

One of the single most disturbing things I have ever witnessed is friends, Christians, who did not understand why I care about issues such as the persecution of Sudanese Christians, the current situation in France of the government violating the human rights of the Roma people by forcibly deporting them, the fact that more Christians (and political activists) have been murdered by Communists in the last century then by hundreds of years of Roman rule.

I don't have a sign, I don't think I have much of an agenda...I just firmly believe every human being is deserving of dignity, respect, security and love. No one should suffer persecution no matter how much I disagree with them and for the most part that is one of the things I love the most about America. The fact that Fox News and MSNBC both exist to annoy one another to no foreseeable end is good for everyone at the end of the day.

A secret their one sided newscasters and many in the church have not discovered is this; listening to other people's opinion and rational thought is not in fact the work of the devil, it is a secret and magical thing called being a mature and reasonable adult.

I have a lot of problems with spiritual unrest and chronic worry...the only times I can think of when the clouds clear is when I write, when I pray and when I overcome my nervous social tendencies and participate in the human race by going to where people are and listening to them. Not hitting them with a gospel stick, showering them with Jesus fish bumper stickers but honestly letting them expose their soul and find this divine moment that only comes about when we realize how hollow our lives are without one another.

The more I live the more I think we really need one another much more than we will ever be comfortable saying out loud.

And by that I mean EVERYONE.
I'm not trying to suggest a pantheistic or Unitarian theology but the simple fact that people are diverse and taking the time to listen and try to act like adults is a bit more productive and important than an "eye for an eye" and a cruise missile for a suicide bomber.

Until someone actually bother to take good ol' Saint Pete (1 Peter 4:8) and everyone's favorite polygamy driven king Solomon (Proverbs 10:12) at their words about love covering over a multitude of sins then we are going to have the Real IRA still trying to blow up Northern Ireland for a "free and united Ireland", the Palestinians and Israelis fighting over stupefyingly small pieces of land and the money making scheme that drives our political process.

I guess I may be making such vague generalities that I might be sabotaging my writings and my point.

That is okay.

Someone needs to sit in the middle and say "Hey guy! It's okay to make sandwiches and not war, we can even make it a kosher diet just to make sure everyone is happy!"

I am more than okay with the fact I love and serve a God who is bigger, more beautiful and amazing than I could ever dare to dream. I am just a beggar looking for grace who happened to hit the jackpot because I found a Lover, a Messiah and a grace that has removed my stains and forced me to look in the mirror and forgive myself and to learn how to let the past go.

Baby steps are okay.
At this point in time any sort of movement forward is in fact forward momentum.
Grace enough for today is in fact enough for today.

Quote of the Day:

"The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of beauty is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, but indifference between life and death...Indifference, to me, is the epitome of evil."
-Elie Wiesel

I really need to start flexing my satirical muscles some more...the fires of angry and confused religious people aren't as hot as they should be.