Hold Me Jesus

Well, sometimes my life just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees

And this Salvation Army band is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so thin

I'm singing hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

-Rich Mullins, "Hold Me Jesus"

I am so tired.

I sleep but there is no rest.

Physically my stomach is killing me and making it impossible to focus on anything else.

Lord, I am so tired.

Plus the bizarre dreams.

Focus is increasingly difficult.

But I want to love you so much more. I can talk about how much failure this in my life, go on ages about how much closer I want to be...but that is just the idle talk of a fool who doesn't know his left hand from his right.

I'm a fool for you, no more no less. Not to be mistakened for someone who knows anything beyond the basics...I am just me. Who you created me as. I don't have much strength left to endure.

Please remember me. Do not let me fade to nothingness. Please.