There is some sort of awkwardly asinine idiocy of finding ways to justify misery or creating misery in God's name.

I am sick of this hole.
And the pain.
All of the evil that is in and of here.

I could stay here.
Could live here.
Remain in misery and never change.

Or force myself to keep going.
Embrace the pain and not stop.

Morning? Morning.

That was so long ago.
Fading viridian,
and entwining lies with reason.

Another Me that I am not sure of,
never really knowing who it was
or might,
could have been.

Pain, hollow evenings
full of confusion
and poor decisions
spurned by pain.

I'm not sure who I was
or who I might become,
but I'm willing to claim that pain.

For once,
for what seems the first time
in memories stretching back,
there is a time
where I can let go
and be free of myself.

The Darkness,
the crippling hate of myself
and the self sabotage.

"Main Theme: Howl's Moving Castle" - Joe Hisaishi

Well that was a long nap.
And now...missed everyone I was wanting to talk to.
Bahness.

Plus side, Christmas Eve.
Even with how silly, painful, ridiculous and overbearing life is...there is at least some beauty.