Twenty-Five-Thousand hits in five years?

Five thousand hits a year?

That is...so...nutty.

Squawk, Squawk and Gambling

The thing that has no cease to haunt me for well over a decade is the fact I sill do not know if I was and am doing ministry for God...or for this self indulgent egomaniac and self-promoted bastard child of Christendom.



Yes it matters.
No good deed goes unpunished.
No attempt at helping and serving can be properly rewarded until things come full circle and the pain is restored.

Who I am would not be recognizable for who I was.
The worsening health, the limp, the dark circles, the snarky and sardonic humor...still the only true redeemable aspect is that one thing that has never had ANYTHING to do with me...

Christ love.
Christ grace.
Chasing after the wayward children just so when they turn around they can fall into the arms of the Lover.

And who am I?
Reflections in the dark,
room lit by a screen and sun struggling to break free.

I'm so weary.
So tired.
I'm cynical with stripes of hope,
begging that if the pain cannot be lifted
that at least a hand to hold
and if there is no hand hold,
to at least touch me with grace
so that something good can come of this bile.

"A Roman Catholic in Southern Baptist’s Clothing”