I really need to work at being a less jealous and overall less horrible person.
Oie...the things I need to do today...

Early Morning Reflections in the Ice

Levels of goodness and duality mixed with the profound dissatisfaction that comes with expectations being broken upon the harsh paved path of reality.

I cannot express the exact feelings and thoughts that course through my mind, open wounds and curious sights.

Beloved vistas being bathed in disconcerting greens and violets, reasons of being escaping me as the overall meaning gets lost in the pages between reality and the perverse.

Profoundly happy, nihilistic flag waving, thoughts permeate my mind at this hour.

Lack of sleep.
Yes, lack of soul.

I'm addicted to attention and feeling whatever it is my tainted and twisted soul longs for at any given moment. The twisted nethers swirl in movements of hope and the dance of enticing my every last desire.

I want to be freed from this nature that attempts to rip my Love apart. I cannot love, it is impossible for the base nature of my soul and being is perverse hate, born out of rebellion that rejects all good.

I am nothing more than a broken instrument of war longing to kill and destroy.

My only hope is the sacred Lover who knew no sin, who has carried my failures from the heavens, to the earth, to Hell and back to life and reunited with Love.

He took the full cup of the wrath of God, drank of it fully and placed it down and never flinched.

Sin, is so real and is manifest in every lie and lust that tries to own my soul and make me into the fel beast that does nothing but pridefully desires everything that is not mine.

My selfishness threatens to consume me.
But I refuse to become this forsaken.
This mindless beast.