It's stupid...but I'm scared.
Even if things were somehow different...I would still be walking on this lonely road alone. We're born and die alone...and time in between is spent in confusion trying to figure out where we are, where we are going and just why exactly...we all feel the way we do.

I have hope.
I don't exactly have peace.
I don't know what will happen.
I can hope and have faith...but love...it is a distant and confusing concept that I am trying to watch and evaluate again...and just come to some conclusion that I can understand...and find solace in.

Time keeps passing and going away.
I have nothing more and nothing less than myself to offer.
Only slight tweaks as the years go on...hopefully they are me becoming a better and more giving person...less angry and malicious...the last thing I want to do is repay pain with pain...because nothing will change that way.

Hope.
Faith.
And the smallest traces of what might be confused for being aspects of love, floating around in this broken and crooked heart of mine.




"So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from Hell,
Blue skys from pain.
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?

And did they get you to trade
Your heros for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange
A walk on part in the war
For a lead role in a cage?

How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl,
Year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears.
Wish you were here."