I feel so...so cold and numb.
I already know these tests will show nothing.
I wish I was stronger so I could just support everyone and still have strength for me...but I feel exhausted and dead and like...it is almost like none of it matters.

I'll go, experience more pain...get no answers...maybe try another doctor or another hospital...this is so frustrating...on top of everything else.

I just...no longer have the desire to put any effort forward right now...I'm going to ache, hurt and fall apart irregardless if there a name for it or not.