Another Night

It is funny how often I lay awake at night, my hands shaking from the anxiety of never sleeping, my eyes stinging from having run out of tears days ago, barely hearing the lies I tell everyone around me so I can hide from the world, the real funny thing is how often I just think of you. How I become enraptured by the smallest bit of attention you throw my way, my heart clings desperately to the smallest thing you say, the desire of wanting to know I can trust your intentions.

I'm sure that I have to lie to myself to be able to keep going, if I didn't lie you know the truth would destroy us, destroy me. You know I never mean to hurt you by it either, right? Good intentions are all you ever need to be a hero anyways.

I just would like to take a trip inside your mind, to be able to see how you think, how you feel, to know why it feels like I am the last human you would ever want to look at, to know if I really could be loved by someone like you, to know that my mind is playing tricks on me again.

All the same emotion, drama and feelings are all a confusing lot that I never know what to do with.

You are able to be a mystery while I beg to be understood, you hold your emotions under lock and key while I proudly wear them on my sleeves, you speak with the smallest of knowing whispers while I scream and shout my ignorance . Two polar opposites of effect and still I cannot help but think, dwell, pray and seek to be understood.