"In the arena of logic, I fight unarmed."
-Red Mage
Thursday, October 15, 2009
God I hate being so...sentimental and holding on to everything...I just stumbled across some mementos my grandmother left me after she died...God it hurts so freaking bad.
"Limping through the world
there’s a knowing look or two
is it just the cripples here
who understand the truth?
Why is love so painful
why do we always lose
paving pathways for the lost
the bitter, and recluse?
He said “Love endures all things”
and it hurts to think it’s true
did it nail Him on a cross
did it crucify Him too?"
-Five Iron Frenzy, "Spartan"
"Limping through the world
there’s a knowing look or two
is it just the cripples here
who understand the truth?
Why is love so painful
why do we always lose
paving pathways for the lost
the bitter, and recluse?
He said “Love endures all things”
and it hurts to think it’s true
did it nail Him on a cross
did it crucify Him too?"
-Five Iron Frenzy, "Spartan"
A Journey Through Your Mind and Soul
Being the king of this trash heap, I can get anything I see my eyes on.
I can win the dreams of impossibility but the one real, tangible, practical and necessarily unnecessary thing I cannot find.
I do not ask for much but much is given.
I simply speak and kings bow.
I stand and riches are handed.
But of the eternal?
Of the everlasting?
So often it is naught to be found in this.
What am I to become?
My hands are weak and my soul thirsts.
Where are you?
Where did you traverse?
On what plane must I travel to see you?
I can speak in alien tongues, sing the songs of elves and birds but still without You I lack.
Where is this fountain I seek?
Where is this intoxication of love?
Is it a myth or mere misconception of the fool?
I traverse this wasteland, I hunger and thirst while looking for You.
I have memorized thousands of lines that I recite by night as I wander by day.
The moon is my mistress, the stars my hand servants and the sun my adversary.
My body aches, not from the leagues I have traversed but from those yet to come.
Not the sacrifices I have made but that the absolute worst is yet to come.
I seek the face of one who has looked away, that no longer sees me as me but merely me as at caricature.
At some point things traversed to a point of no understanding and now we are both left with an ever increasing chasm between us.
I'm walking through this desert wasteland, not searching for water but chasing phantoms. I see the marks in the sand, the fire pits and the evidence that my quarry is in fact human or at least prefers to make me think of it as such.
Shades of the past, a spectrum of color and belittled hope.
What of this drought of hope?
Sincerity or lies to cleverly disguise what is fraught?
I can win the dreams of impossibility but the one real, tangible, practical and necessarily unnecessary thing I cannot find.
I do not ask for much but much is given.
I simply speak and kings bow.
I stand and riches are handed.
But of the eternal?
Of the everlasting?
So often it is naught to be found in this.
What am I to become?
My hands are weak and my soul thirsts.
Where are you?
Where did you traverse?
On what plane must I travel to see you?
I can speak in alien tongues, sing the songs of elves and birds but still without You I lack.
Where is this fountain I seek?
Where is this intoxication of love?
Is it a myth or mere misconception of the fool?
I traverse this wasteland, I hunger and thirst while looking for You.
I have memorized thousands of lines that I recite by night as I wander by day.
The moon is my mistress, the stars my hand servants and the sun my adversary.
My body aches, not from the leagues I have traversed but from those yet to come.
Not the sacrifices I have made but that the absolute worst is yet to come.
I seek the face of one who has looked away, that no longer sees me as me but merely me as at caricature.
At some point things traversed to a point of no understanding and now we are both left with an ever increasing chasm between us.
I'm walking through this desert wasteland, not searching for water but chasing phantoms. I see the marks in the sand, the fire pits and the evidence that my quarry is in fact human or at least prefers to make me think of it as such.
Shades of the past, a spectrum of color and belittled hope.
What of this drought of hope?
Sincerity or lies to cleverly disguise what is fraught?
Quote of the Day:
"The problem with Christian culture is we think of love as a commodity. We use it like money. I used love like money, but love doesn't work like money. It is not a commodity. When we barter with it, we all lose. When the church does not love its enemies, it fuels their rage. It makes them hate us more."
-Donald Miller
-Donald Miller
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Quote of the Day:
"Wretchedness. The only thing that consoles us for out miseries is distraction, yet that is the greatest of our wretchednesses. Because that is what mainly prevents us from thinking about ourselves and leads us imperceptibly to damnation. Without it we should be bored, and boredom would force us to search for a firmer way out, but distraction entertains us and leads us imperceptibly to death."
-Blase Pascal
-Blase Pascal
"Touch" - Delirious?
I, I really want to get to know you
I really want to get to show you how
How I really feel
And now, another page is turning
Another day is dawning here
For everyone to see
And I'm on my knees
'Cause I love you
And when you, touch my life
I've been born again
I am born again
And when you, touch my life
I've been born again
I am born again
I, I really want to get to know you
I really wish you'd show me how
The way it's meant to be
And please, deliver me from walking
Beyond the truth that called me here
I'm not ashamed today
And I'm on my knees
'Cause I love you
And when you, touch my life
I've been born again
I am born again
And when you, touch my life
I've been born again
I am born again
I've been torn again,
The curtain's been torn again
I really want to get to show you how
How I really feel
And now, another page is turning
Another day is dawning here
For everyone to see
And I'm on my knees
'Cause I love you
And when you, touch my life
I've been born again
I am born again
And when you, touch my life
I've been born again
I am born again
I, I really want to get to know you
I really wish you'd show me how
The way it's meant to be
And please, deliver me from walking
Beyond the truth that called me here
I'm not ashamed today
And I'm on my knees
'Cause I love you
And when you, touch my life
I've been born again
I am born again
And when you, touch my life
I've been born again
I am born again
I've been torn again,
The curtain's been torn again
Bloodstains
I'm on the verge of insanity of a breakthrough?
The cross is on my mind...I can't forget it...I feel the splinters, smell the sweet sick taste of blood and know this my treason personified.
I've been in love with You my whole love, before I could breath I was destined to be hopelessly enamored in You, every breath has been leading me to this moment of exhausted recollection...while I contemplate this impossible and unbelievable love.
In ways...I just want to cut everything and everyone else out so I can spend eternity talking to you...being lost as my this broken soul attempts to commune in love.
I want to loose my life, loose this life, these falsehoods and feel the temporal peel back to let the eternal flow. I want to go to church and love You with others...I want to talk with others about this Love...this SOLE reason I exist.
Have You still called me to act a Shepard for the wayward?
Who am I that You called me to salvation?
Give me this grace...much less have hold me and carried me.
Oh Love, Love, Love...don't let this end.
Hold me through this cancer of the soul and give me strength.
Beloved, beautiful creator, speak to me and give me the strength to say no and just move forward, as hard as it is, take this please.
"Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all.
To Christ, who won for sinners grace
By bitter grief and anguish sore,
Be praise from all the ransomed race
Forever and forevermore."
The cross is on my mind...I can't forget it...I feel the splinters, smell the sweet sick taste of blood and know this my treason personified.
I've been in love with You my whole love, before I could breath I was destined to be hopelessly enamored in You, every breath has been leading me to this moment of exhausted recollection...while I contemplate this impossible and unbelievable love.
In ways...I just want to cut everything and everyone else out so I can spend eternity talking to you...being lost as my this broken soul attempts to commune in love.
I want to loose my life, loose this life, these falsehoods and feel the temporal peel back to let the eternal flow. I want to go to church and love You with others...I want to talk with others about this Love...this SOLE reason I exist.
Have You still called me to act a Shepard for the wayward?
Who am I that You called me to salvation?
Give me this grace...much less have hold me and carried me.
Oh Love, Love, Love...don't let this end.
Hold me through this cancer of the soul and give me strength.
Beloved, beautiful creator, speak to me and give me the strength to say no and just move forward, as hard as it is, take this please.
"Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all.
To Christ, who won for sinners grace
By bitter grief and anguish sore,
Be praise from all the ransomed race
Forever and forevermore."
"Eyes on Me" - Faye Wong, Final Fantasy VIII Official Soundtrack
Hard to believe Final Fantasy VIII is already a decade old.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Final_Fantasy_VIII
Goodness it makes me feel old.
Many good memories of the amazing story...can't believe this video is still around. I downloaded it off of Kazaa back in 2002. Amazing song though.
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I want to say hello like I want to take a breath of air.
I want to say good night like it was going outta style.
And here we are,
same as before
same story
just another song
dancing along
never knowing how we got here
where we were going
or how,
just how to get off of this train.
It's on the radio
this tune I'm playing on piano
the humming noise
that every time
in every way
was the tune for everyday
we shared
we laughed
we cried to
and never could know why.
It's a story of life
of the times
of fallen pride
the things we tried
and life, dear life
the beauty we never knew
as we could hope
and dream on stars,
prayers and have faith
that the dawn
was on the way.
I'm trying to hold back the pain
I feel when I remember
how it felt
to just fall
and hear the song of love
knowing this was that
and this was never to be true
even in thoughts of You.
I want to say good night like it was going outta style.
And here we are,
same as before
same story
just another song
dancing along
never knowing how we got here
where we were going
or how,
just how to get off of this train.
It's on the radio
this tune I'm playing on piano
the humming noise
that every time
in every way
was the tune for everyday
we shared
we laughed
we cried to
and never could know why.
It's a story of life
of the times
of fallen pride
the things we tried
and life, dear life
the beauty we never knew
as we could hope
and dream on stars,
prayers and have faith
that the dawn
was on the way.
I'm trying to hold back the pain
I feel when I remember
how it felt
to just fall
and hear the song of love
knowing this was that
and this was never to be true
even in thoughts of You.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Quote of the Day:
"Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: You don't give up."
-Anne Lamott
-Anne Lamott
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