Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Bloodstains

I'm on the verge of insanity of a breakthrough?

The cross is on my mind...I can't forget it...I feel the splinters, smell the sweet sick taste of blood and know this my treason personified.

I've been in love with You my whole love, before I could breath I was destined to be hopelessly enamored in You, every breath has been leading me to this moment of exhausted recollection...while I contemplate this impossible and unbelievable love.

In ways...I just want to cut everything and everyone else out so I can spend eternity talking to you...being lost as my this broken soul attempts to commune in love.

I want to loose my life, loose this life, these falsehoods and feel the temporal peel back to let the eternal flow. I want to go to church and love You with others...I want to talk with others about this Love...this SOLE reason I exist.

Have You still called me to act a Shepard for the wayward?
Who am I that You called me to salvation?
Give me this grace...much less have hold me and carried me.
Oh Love, Love, Love...don't let this end.
Hold me through this cancer of the soul and give me strength.

Beloved, beautiful creator, speak to me and give me the strength to say no and just move forward, as hard as it is, take this please.


"Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all.

To Christ, who won for sinners grace
By bitter grief and anguish sore,
Be praise from all the ransomed race
Forever and forevermore."

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