Assuming my brain doesn't actually explode and I'm stuck with all this crap to take care of...which I don't know how to do, or what to do...
Panic.
What am I supposed to do?
Careers.
Marriage.
Families.
And I lay here crying because of how bad this migraine and the fibromyalgia hurts.
I read and see about genocide, war, homelessness. starvation, disease...so much screwed up in this world...I want to, I need to do something but don't know where to start.
So I feel guilt for the things I can't do and self hate for being so sick and unable to do everything.
This is almost as bad as China was...except without some of the more...'fun' bits...
I'm a world away from all the expectations and feel like I'm just going to keep falling down this hole.
It matters.
I matter.
Trying matters.
I just...pray and hope I till can stand.
I have all the answers.
And now I have nothing.
Nothing except the dark and my fragile ego and fears.
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