Psalm 111

"He has paid a full ransom for his people.
He has guaranteed his covenant with them forever.
What a holy, awe-inspiring name he has!
Fear of the Lord is the foundation of true wisdom.
All who obey his commandments will grow in wisdom.

Praise him forever!"
-Psalm 111:9-10


I...want to be faithful.
I have been so concerned about...people...things...her; decisions, choices, consequences, sin...things.

Why...do I care...and concerned...and...and...and...

I don't know how to cope with any of this.
Your glory, your majesty, your perfection...and then there is actually living life...sins, passion, feelings, things...more things, even more things...me being too far above people to where there is no real substance of relationship.

I am either petrified or screw things up...the beautiful thing is You don't hate me. I sometimes think you are the only one who cares...and conversely the only one who can hate me so much...

But...but...grace?
Love?

I am so tired.
I am so so tired.



What do You want from me?
Love, trust, intimacy...I just want to be yours.
You paid for me with blood...blood I can't take for granted by just behaving like a juvenile. I have been a fool...and just I don't know.

I don't know...