Psalm 87

"I will count Egypt and Babylon among those who know me—
also Philistia and Tyre, and even distant Ethiopia.
They have all become citizens of Jerusalem!
Regarding Jerusalem it will be said,
“Everyone enjoys the rights of citizenship there.”
And the Most High will personally bless this city.
When the Lord registers the nations, he will say,
“They have all become citizens of Jerusalem.”"
-Psalm 87:4-6

Egypt, Babylon, Philistine, Tyre...all of these were cities that stood against God openly at times...and were at times even used as metaphors being decried as symbols representing Satan and the spirit of anti-Christ in this world.

What does it say about the Church where we write off those living in other countries as being enemies when God will call believers out from every corner of creation, every country, every race, every sect, every false tower set against Him?

You've called me...even me.
I want to see you...I'm so sick, so sick of how broken this world is, how much pain is everywhere, how much pain *I* cause, seeing the ill effects of stupid decisions I make that cause others to suffer...it's not just drama, it's the fact I waste five dollars on a cup of coffee when there are thousands of children dying today that the money could have given food, vaccines or clean water to.

Yes...this bothers me, this gives me nightmares...I can't fix everything, I can't save everyone but dammit I can do something besides live here in stagnating apathy.

Besides staying here in middle class church suburbia...what can I do Jesus?
What do I need to do?
How radical are you calling to me?
Do you want me to follow the sermon on the mount to the letter?
Am I working on my masters and phd for myself or for your glory?


I want to be in your arms.
I'm so sick of this pain and how screwed up the world is.
I am selfish and I know it.
When can you return and bring peace to this dying world?
Why...why do you trust us stupid humans to do the work until then?

Thank you for never leaving me in my broken shame...thank you for loving me, thank you for drowning me in grace and sending people to rescue me before I do stupid stuff.

I want to take this love, this intoxicating grace...and share it with the world.
Please.
Either break me, prepare me and then send me or just bring me home today if I cannot be of any use.
I can't stand living in this spiritual purgatory for much longer.
Abba, Daddy, I need you.
I need the peace beyond understanding, I need grace and love to wipe away my shame.



"I walk the world on insect legs beneath an unforgiving sun
Eat the dirt throughout my days On the dirt and dirt I come undone
Messiah born in Bethlehem won't find me lying there
The world's too big for him to see me or hear the things I've said
Hold me to you as I pray, Take the rest of the world away
My blood runs warm because of you, The scales fall out of my eyes
I laughed in the keep of a man with a rose my mandibles are caked in trash
Thought you wouldn't recognize me, in the black of soot and ash
Don't turn deaf into my voice, but one thing I want you to know:
I have always loved you though my life has never said so
Hold me to you as I pray, Take the rest of the world away
My blood runs warm because of you, The scales fall out of my eyes
Hold me to you as I pray, Take every other thing away
My heart is breaking out for you, The scales are out of my eyes

I love you Lord, and I lift my voice
To worship you, Oh, my soul rejoice
Take joy my King in what you hear
May it be a sweet, sweet sound in your ear"