Paradiso

Reality is a harsh enough mistress, why must my dreams lend themselves to solidifying the nihilistic horror of being aware to the true purpose of the universe?

I have and will continue the pursuit of truth at the sacrifice of everything...just as I have the first twenty-three years...so is it too much to just want a happy dream from time to time?

Happiness in life is not impossible...just vastly improbable...and for those who are aware, who seek and wish to know how far this rabbit hole goes...there is nothing but an assured life of...

But why get ahead of myself?
Many much more talented and useful people than myself have fallen harder and failed to finish...so who is to say I'll make it to the next mile marker or even the next step before I fall down and quit?

My soul aches for completion...it misses you...it misses things that I never have known and may never see. Is it silly to cast everything on the dreams and longings of a place that may have never been?

...there is hope, solid and hopefully undying hope...it's just the pains and frailties of my health act as this thorn that makes me doubt...that makes me afraid that I am forgotten and that...

I just...wish and hope I can get lost on this past to truth...maybe see the ones I'm looking for while on the way...maybe there will be...