I can't sleep, can't find rest.
Every time I lay down I'm haunted by You...and the thoughts you sent my mind years ago.
Every time I dream I feel this lightning, this fire inside me rip me asunder.
I see every failure lined up with You
and the feeling of You leaving my side.
If anyone ever wanted to know what Hell was, I don't think it's this fire or burning inside of me...it's the fear, the isolation of feeling like You are no longer in my sight, that I lost everything because I lost You.
That is fear.
Nothing else in this world matters that much anyway.
Not even icing on a proverbial cake, just a waste of breath.
Can I make it plain Jesus?
Heal me or kill me.
It doesn't matter much to me which way You decide.
I'm going to be limping around, trying not to swear at Your people, striking rocks instead of speaking to them, I'm going to fight You over something I never even wanted, I'm going to cry in pain every time You bless me, so seriously, what is it going to be?
Death or life.
Life or death.
Decide for me because until you eradicate me I'm going to push forward.
Call it complaining or ungratefulness but I'm in pain.
I have a pain problem, fancy that?
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