Sunday, March 7, 2010
A Pause for Breath
Is it March?
Really?
When did that happen?
I am having trouble with wrapping my mind around the fact that I am already over halfway done with this first semester back working on my masters. Much less the fact it is in Mobile and at the University of Mobile.
Throw in the fact I'm currently typing away at my friend's kitchen table in Chicago after another great night of gaming and I'm not sure what to think.
The past year has been a blur of attempting to find resolutions and answers popping up from the most unexpected places. For every negative, every pain I have been through...there has been this unexpected beauty and sweetness on the other side. For one who talks (too much) about the wonders of the divine...I tend to be one much too quick to pass judgment and be negative...but oh how I have been blessed...in such unexpected and wonderful ways.
I'm baffled that I have met so many new people in such a short time and have grown closer to a handful of people who are more dear to me than life itself. To be honest...I'm shocked life is turning out so wonderful...so much more than I could have asked for or wanted.
Even with the daily struggles with pain and health...the good outweighs the bad. If it something I have to deal with, so be it. At least I have better health than what it could be. I hate how so many words of complain pass through my lips...sure I am human but still...
And the possibilities offered at Wheaton.
Goodness.
The fact they have had graduates from their Masters program actually go off to Oxford, Cambridge and Duke.
I know it's such a far shot...but what I would give for a chance to actually study abroad and actually attempt to make an impact in lands I have never seen before.
Is it pride?
False humility?
Just the key to my disorders?
I feel compelled...the need to serve and show love.
My life hasn't always been about living the love of Christ...but it is the only thing I sincerely want. I am horrible at personal relationships and coping with pain...but at least I just want this somewhat useless life useful and a chance for others to see how unique and beloved they are.
It's a leap...it's a bound outside the realm of logic that not everyone can handle...but love itself is a paradox that should have never existed...
But here we are...we didn't ask for this but we have the responsibility to live it out while we are here.
I didn't ask for it...for any of this but the beauty overwhelms the horror offered by life...in every way.
Far from being ideal...the pain is more beautiful than any cheap concoction of good I could have created on my own. I want to live through the pain...live and see what is to come...see the beauty and smile because this is only a beginning.
Really?
When did that happen?
I am having trouble with wrapping my mind around the fact that I am already over halfway done with this first semester back working on my masters. Much less the fact it is in Mobile and at the University of Mobile.
Throw in the fact I'm currently typing away at my friend's kitchen table in Chicago after another great night of gaming and I'm not sure what to think.
The past year has been a blur of attempting to find resolutions and answers popping up from the most unexpected places. For every negative, every pain I have been through...there has been this unexpected beauty and sweetness on the other side. For one who talks (too much) about the wonders of the divine...I tend to be one much too quick to pass judgment and be negative...but oh how I have been blessed...in such unexpected and wonderful ways.
I'm baffled that I have met so many new people in such a short time and have grown closer to a handful of people who are more dear to me than life itself. To be honest...I'm shocked life is turning out so wonderful...so much more than I could have asked for or wanted.
Even with the daily struggles with pain and health...the good outweighs the bad. If it something I have to deal with, so be it. At least I have better health than what it could be. I hate how so many words of complain pass through my lips...sure I am human but still...
And the possibilities offered at Wheaton.
Goodness.
The fact they have had graduates from their Masters program actually go off to Oxford, Cambridge and Duke.
I know it's such a far shot...but what I would give for a chance to actually study abroad and actually attempt to make an impact in lands I have never seen before.
Is it pride?
False humility?
Just the key to my disorders?
I feel compelled...the need to serve and show love.
My life hasn't always been about living the love of Christ...but it is the only thing I sincerely want. I am horrible at personal relationships and coping with pain...but at least I just want this somewhat useless life useful and a chance for others to see how unique and beloved they are.
It's a leap...it's a bound outside the realm of logic that not everyone can handle...but love itself is a paradox that should have never existed...
But here we are...we didn't ask for this but we have the responsibility to live it out while we are here.
I didn't ask for it...for any of this but the beauty overwhelms the horror offered by life...in every way.
Far from being ideal...the pain is more beautiful than any cheap concoction of good I could have created on my own. I want to live through the pain...live and see what is to come...see the beauty and smile because this is only a beginning.
Quote of the Day:
"Wretchedness provokes despair.
Pride provokes presumption.
The Incarnation shows man the greatness of his wretchedness through the greatness of the remedy which was required."
-Blaise Pascal
Pride provokes presumption.
The Incarnation shows man the greatness of his wretchedness through the greatness of the remedy which was required."
-Blaise Pascal
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Quote of the Day:
"Christianity is strange: it requires human beings to recognize that they are vile and even abominable, and requires them to want to be like God. Without such a counterweight this elevation would make them execrably vain, or this abasement execrably despicable."
-Blaise Pascal
-Blaise Pascal
"Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow
Yet I will fear no evil
I have cursed they rod and staff
They no longer comfort me
Love rescue me
I've conquered my past
The future is here at last
I stand at the entrance
To a new world I can see
The ruins to the right of me
Will soon have lost sight of me
Love rescue me"
Yet I will fear no evil
I have cursed they rod and staff
They no longer comfort me
Love rescue me
I've conquered my past
The future is here at last
I stand at the entrance
To a new world I can see
The ruins to the right of me
Will soon have lost sight of me
Love rescue me"
Friday, March 5, 2010
"Despite our selfish selves,
despite all loss of hope,
despite our lack of faith,
despite our stony hearts,
despite the waning moon,
despite the ebbing tide of how we think this world should be.
Praise God from whom all blessings flow,
praise Him all creatures here below,
praise Him above ye heavenly host,
praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.
Gray rainy day, down in the mud for us.
Don't feel I can sing,
songs to the God in control of the seasons.
But what's good and bad,
flow from the hands,
of the God with the perfect plan.
Filling us with joy, all of this will glorify."
despite all loss of hope,
despite our lack of faith,
despite our stony hearts,
despite the waning moon,
despite the ebbing tide of how we think this world should be.
Praise God from whom all blessings flow,
praise Him all creatures here below,
praise Him above ye heavenly host,
praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.
Gray rainy day, down in the mud for us.
Don't feel I can sing,
songs to the God in control of the seasons.
But what's good and bad,
flow from the hands,
of the God with the perfect plan.
Filling us with joy, all of this will glorify."
Quote of the Day:
"Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining."
— Anne Lamott
— Anne Lamott
Thursday, March 4, 2010
"Where does the misunderstanding come from,
demanding that we be outstanding and then some?
Perfection never was a requirement
although some might say we desired it.
So then for times when things get old I might get cynical
I see that I don't see.
Do they see you when they see me?
In honesty there's room for improvement
Thoughts may change, the truth be told,
A closed mind will leave you empty
Use your mind to use your soul.
Alert the press, their dogmas are a mess,
Opinions shift, a broken sift, an empty hand,
And billboards ask, 'where do they stand.'
Do all streams lead to one sea?"
demanding that we be outstanding and then some?
Perfection never was a requirement
although some might say we desired it.
So then for times when things get old I might get cynical
I see that I don't see.
Do they see you when they see me?
In honesty there's room for improvement
Thoughts may change, the truth be told,
A closed mind will leave you empty
Use your mind to use your soul.
Alert the press, their dogmas are a mess,
Opinions shift, a broken sift, an empty hand,
And billboards ask, 'where do they stand.'
Do all streams lead to one sea?"
Quote of the Day:
"Beware you are not a fiery, persecuting enthusiast. Do not imagine that God has called you...to destroy men’s lives, and not to save them. Never dream of forcing men into the ways of God. Think yourself, and let think. Use no constraint in matters of religion. Even those who are farthest out of the way never compel to come in by any other means than reason, truth, and love."
-John Wesley
-John Wesley
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
