Contrary to popular opinion violence DOES solve a multitude of problems. The issue of concern however, is that the solution it does offer often times proves too permanent to reverse.

BS2 concert

For the three other fans of Brave Saint Saturn out there here is a link to a full concerts of one of the few times they have ever performed as a band:

http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=98995D3674732992

"Three strands of wire,
Threefold the tie that binds.
She is the one thing on the earth for which he still pines.
To his heart she was life,
So he prays to his Maker with a sigh,
As his fire sputters out,
Because robots never cry.

Space Robot 5,
Is he alive?
So very alone,
So far from home."

Musings on the Musings of a Muse

As always it makes terrifyingly perfect sense in the way that only the artistic musings of a Muse can.

Sometimes we have to pour ourselves into the work of the soul to push ourselves along the path of learning what it means to be saved.

Jesus did the hard part of dying and coming back to life...all we do is spent trying to learn to love...and part of that is devoting ourselves to plumbing the depths of our seemingly endless souls to find who we are and what we can do...just to stand and face our Love...and realize the work we've done is a paltry reflection of that face...

Beauty, color, creed and sex will have no real meaning looking into the face of Divine Love...everything will be reconciled into the perfectly unutterable clarity that would terrify us to know now.

Peace and hope eternal.

Feeding on a Burning Soul

I'm looking across this ocean
and feeling the distance
of being ripped apart
by the lies of trepidation
and temptation of pride
with the lie of self.

It's having the scales of my eyes
ripped off
and feeling the shame
of a thousand lies of wasted breaths.

Every moment apart
is a moment I'm dying,
not knowing how to live
forgetting how Your heart beats
and longing to know
just to know
I'm never forgotten.

Just woke up...still so sleepy.

Heh "13 Going on 30" is on, I'm almost ashamed to admit how much I like this film.

Quote of the Day

“Just as in earthly life lovers long for the moment when they are able to breathe forth their love for each other, to let their souls blend in a soft whisper, so the mystic longs for the moment when in prayer he can, as it were, creep into God.”
-Soren Kierkegaard

Aches with a slight side of confusion.

If being a narcissist was so easy than everyone would be doing it!



...wait a second...

While discussing the idea of moving back to Mobile a hurricane suddenly appears...Jesus are you trying to send me a message or something? o_O

Quote of the Day:

“I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.”
-Mother Teresa

Go!

Get out of my head already!

Shoo!

Two months and I'll be out of this house again...and then I can work on loosing the rest of this unneeded baggage that is crushing my soul.

Regardless of how inconsequential it is...I still do care...

"I’m languorously open-ended and the ending’s no good
I’ve been told to break the mold and I would if I could
But apathy is easier than caring at all
And the undulating nothingness means having a ball

Incredibly impressive and bereft of concern
Lobotomized and optimized and then I’m ready to burn
At war within myself and self is winning the fight
Because feeling like no one at all means feeling alright

Sense of purpose has got me feeling worthless
And I’m fading away, but that’s okay"

Fool Afraid of Love

Dear Lord just give me everything that I want,
feed me a bit more,
so it can,
it'll make me content just for the day.
It's a promise that I'll break
because after all
everything about everything
is always just about me.

I can be sweet,
just enough to rot your teeth.
I can be honest,
just enough to be blunt,
about how I just can't stand your ways
because after all
everything it's about me.

You didn't get the memo?

If I could get any more sick
I might just be able to love You
almost as much as I hate you.
I could throw up
and be rid of everything that is me
and return this status quo
of not knowing
or wanting to care anymore.

Why did you set this stirring in my heart
just so it could become a blister
an ache driving me further insane?
Just cut it out,
slice out this heart
and indulge an old serpent
whose only sole concern
is about no longer feeling.

I would rather be blinded
and loose my touch,
have my words stolen
and never utter a sound
or write another trite verse.
If it could just make you happy
I would gladly cut off these ties
and loose everything
that ever made myself
just myself about myself.

Just a few grains of sand
and I'll be done,
don't worry
everything is fading
and soon enough
my voice will be stilled.
No longer a burning
or an ache
just an empty vessel,
worthless dust to dust
and back to the dirt
all without a single fuss.

Does it matter if I try?

"Oh Lord, I’m sick of myself
I’d rather bury it than carry it
I’m desperate for help
And barely sentient means I’m just being me
Follow suit the destitute my modus operandi

A face that’s marked by pallor means you’re wasting away
So get a tan and raise your hands and take to feeling okay
No one enjoys the party when they’re stricken with anemia
A shallow sinking surface simply screaming septicemia

Peace of mind is hard to find
So I’m standing in line and feeling fine

Aye, me sad hours seem long
And even longer when you’re numb
Fading away and that’s okay
Cause life has me under her thumb"

Yeah...yeah...yeah...

Quote of the Day - Part Two:

“Stealing things is a glorious occupation, particularly in the art world.”
-Malcolm Mclaren

Dirt Encrusted Heart

I feel,
I feel the tension,
the cancer
eating you on the inside.

I see,
I see the revelation,
the pain
you wear as a see through dress.

Every time,
Every moment,
that is passing by me on the street
I wonder how this all came to be
why we just can't stop this madness
long enough to see,
see each other through the night.

I hate,
I hate just this feeling,
this gangrene frustration
building up in my body
as I seek to cut it out
and have you see my intent,
how my heart is real
and vibrant and alive.

But you,
yes you dear angel of night,
do you still feel?
Does your orbit around earth
even permit you to hear sound?
Do you see the pinning
and tear drops fall while crying,
all this for you,
just to gather attention once again?

I can't quite comprehend
just how all this came to be
and instead,
I just sit here drinking
and hoping for reprieve,
that life will be mine to live again.
Just without your circular logic,
the short circuits in my soul
that you set off
when you tripped the breaker
on your way out each door.

Not just running from me
but leaving yourself behind
and we both watch on
wondering when you'll bother to return,
pay a visit to you and you,
but don't worry about me.
It's already a late night
so I'm going to turn in
and hope that maybe
this has all just been a dream,
maybe a bad night
or just my selfish heart pursuit.

I just would like to wish the world a ridiculously early good morning.I have coffee and am getting ready to stop being a crappy friend and reply to a huge amount of emails before getting down to the noveling business...

It is painfully embarrassing to expect so much from someone who is only a human.

Quote of the Day:

"Whenever Christ calls us, his call leads us to death."
-Dietrich Bonhoeffer

You know...anytime someone draws a comparison between your personal writing styles and one of your heroes, it is ALWAYS a good day.

Although, you know I still would be quite taller than C.S. Lewis.

Heh...it is so sad I go out of my way to compare my height to everyone and everything around me...but hey, you got to be proud of what you have. I've got my freaking awesome hair which is still rocking, eyes with so many colors it could be its own Beatles album and something that is quite similar to but not actually health.