"A World Alone" - Saviour Machine

Love leaves the soul
Blood feed the man who stands
Alone in the grasp of the hands
That fornicate the land
That emulate the past
To infiltrate a man to tear his brother's flesh
Then drink his blood as we confess
Unto the crimes, we lay at rest
We lay at rest

Rest upon the hand, rest upon the fortress
Hold me in your arms, hold on to the dreams
And the cry to wipe away the tears

In a world that takes away the seeds
And takes away another
To fill its evil needs
In a world that takes away the dreams
When dreams deceive a man, insanity proceeds
In a world that's drowning in its lies
Which persecute his brother
For the color of his eyes
In a world that radiates the skies
Intoxicates the oceans
So watch it as it dies, Alone

No one is home, now one will answer the call
The cry, hear the cry
Comprehend the nature of your soul

The horrors of a child that slips into the night
Surrenders to the fight to find his senses won't reply
Unto the evidence he finds along the way
He dies along the way

My world has no more meaning
I've not much more to take
Hold me in your arms, hold on to the dream
And the cry to wipe away the tears

In a world that takes away the seeds
And takes away another
To fill its evil needs
In a world that takes away the dreams
When dreams deceive a man, insanity proceeds
In a world that's drowning in its lies
Which persecute his brother
For the color of his eyes
In a world that radiates the skies
Intoxicates the oceans
So watch it as it dies, Alone

I want...something.

Not from people but it's what I look for and why I find such dissatisfaction so often.

I want perfection from the imperfect...it's almost like I'm expecting to find purified water in a diseased swamp.

I wish there was some real escape from the prison my own mind can be...

This is such a vividly painful day...

So sick of pain and so tired of people.

Am I trying to recapture a fleeting moment of the past that never was...or are You leading me somewhere?

That was an unsettling dream of such...sweet tenderness.

"What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt"

Ka

Such an exhausted burning...I feel like I will be extinguished soon...

"Better Than Drugs" - Skillet

I hate getting the shakes. =/

Ardency

Beauty which demands my attention,
my affection, my devotion,
my love, my sacrifice,
my being, my self,
my waking, my breath,
my beginning,
my breaking,
my end,
and this flimsy devotion.

Love which lifts my soul
from the shell within
to the heavens above
in the relentless resounding din
across the shoals of friction
to the reverberation in You.

Excruciating pain.

God it feels like my insides are on fire...help.
Me.
Please.

9-9-09

wooo

'Dark Tower' Rant

This isn't looking good.

Mr.King is starting to scare me here.

All of the deaths so far have been meaningless. Unless he is planning to do some kind of massive twist he just wasted his MAIN villain...over nothing. The villain that has been in over a dozen of his books and the main antagonist of the hero was killed...in random happenstance...I'm confused.

On top of that...he spent an the fourth developing Roland's two childhood friends who obviously died before the main story started...and he doesn't even cover their deaths. Just happened to mention them in passing during a flash back about the battle of Jericho Hill...I was pleasantly surprised Sheemie was brought back...but seriously...I'm starting to get bitter over the fourth book being an entire flash back. My memories of Jacksonville is waiting a lot, eating doughnuts and wondering why the book had to be 95% flash back, 2% of a reference to 'The Stand' and 3% of a reference to 'The Wizard of Oz'...I'm guessing I missed something.

And the painful foreshadowing about members of the ka-tet dying...I honestly just wish he would leave some suspence...I'm already about ninety five percent sure my favorite character is going to die...in what I assume is going to be an unfulfilling and cheap death.

And what is up with the Crimson King suddenly becoming this 'tragic' character at the last minute? "Oh no poor guy has been locked in the tower and is going crazy..." Oh I'm so confused...

The plus side is I've enjoyed Mr.King including himself as a minor character in the books...that was an unexpected but pleasant twist. And the Harry Potter reference...the 'snitch' grenade made me giggle.

Oh well...I'm reading this slower than the other books...we'll see what happens...

I would like to thank my favorite dentist for sending me this painfully funny summary about the formula used in writing House episodes:


http://www.cracked.com/blog/write-your-own-house-episode

If I see another advertisement for the movie 'Sorority Row' I'm going to have a freaking aneurysm.

"Rocket shuttered screamed and then fell away
Lift this juggernaut into the sky
Radio waves in the frozen night
Spelling "I miss you""

So apparently holding your breath for something that isn't likely to happen...is in fact a bad idea.

Who knew?

...my cat just walked up to me and hit my nose with his.

What sly cat behavior is this?

Also...I hate hospitals, insurance companies and doctors.

I do like rain, clouds and hugs.

Granted none of this makes sense when you blend it together into one topic...but the thought counts. What it counts as I have no flipping idea...but the numbers are going and someone needs to be jotting them down.

Hey you!

Are you keeping track of them?!?

How is Dane Cook considered to be funny?

I've seen car wrecks that contain more unintentional humor then I've ever seen him posses.

My math is spotty but I've crunched the numbers...the odds of any of this working out is astronomical...we shouldn't be...knowing one another...being able to exist...people overcoming selfishness long enough to do good and create...but the beauty is perhaps in how in the daily actions the impossible is overcome.

How often it is challenged and defeated.

That perhaps is a miracle.

Maybe the miracle we've been looking for.

"Everything is dying and we want something more."

"Ignoring you, I dance, oh I do,
Through magnificent realms, quite divine,
Stopping to see my face smiling at me,
For this is my life and my time,
What an arduous task, it proves such a feat to be only one of a kind,
Through the scenery slips through the spaces we meet,
Press forward and leave me behind,
What a child you are, for you look just like me,
Looking out for number one, I'm all that I have and all that I see,
Saved by the grace of the Son,
So shall we deny?
And rot as we die?
As I write a book about me,
My noble wealth of serving myself,
I am so selfish it's funny."