"So very alone,
So far from home.
He has no home,
he is alone."
Friday, June 26, 2009
It's like...I can reach everything I want...except...'that'...that one thing out of reach...that I'm unable to manipulate myself to...or steal...or destroy out of jealousy.
Sometimes I think life would be much more easier if I was blind to this...need...this line of thought...God...this pain even...vividly...it is there.
Sometimes I think life would be much more easier if I was blind to this...need...this line of thought...God...this pain even...vividly...it is there.
Moonlight, Midnight
Midnight.
Pale Moonlight.
You are but a mere reflection,
burning not of yourself
but by the means of another.
Barren motion bathing this land,
casting soft lies,
pale reflection upon a visage of pale reflection.
I walk this land in knowing,
truth in absolutes
with reality bound by constructs
limited in interaction and truth.
I speak in pale parables
seeking embellishment of my life
when all I've ever spoke is lies
and all I have done is stumble.
Messiah, little Lamb,
doth my words fall on deaf ears?
Love via pain,
Shams revealed in pale moon light
and all I have ever said is held tight.
False solace I have found in this pale moonlight
and in your eyes I see a growing fire.
Fire burning.
Fire of resolved.
Fire of love.
Moonlight is the reflection,
a pale imitation seeking salvation
never knowing
it is locked forever in eternity's embrace,
elliptical and repetitious,
endless in pursuing itself.
It is these eyes,
this fire that warms my cold blood.
This love that awakens a soul
that was forever lost
in this pale cold light.
Heated only by dying coals,
silence spreading this ill boded plight.
It was these eyes that gave me hope,
You are the One who gave breath to these lungs
and whose love
causes this heart to beat twice as fast
whenever You pass by.
What fragments remained
You gathered and held.
Mending,
Loving,
Restoring,
giving and rebirthing
this frail life.
Peeling back layer after lie
and remaining faithful
despite my frailty
and the fragility of this Heart.
You broke this stone,
You ripped aparts the curtain,
severing the grand lie
and crossed this impossible ocean.
All while pale moonlight bathes the ground,
reflecting the grass
and in the water.
But it is Your eyes I see,
the fire that brought me to life,
once again.
Pale Moonlight.
You are but a mere reflection,
burning not of yourself
but by the means of another.
Barren motion bathing this land,
casting soft lies,
pale reflection upon a visage of pale reflection.
I walk this land in knowing,
truth in absolutes
with reality bound by constructs
limited in interaction and truth.
I speak in pale parables
seeking embellishment of my life
when all I've ever spoke is lies
and all I have done is stumble.
Messiah, little Lamb,
doth my words fall on deaf ears?
Love via pain,
Shams revealed in pale moon light
and all I have ever said is held tight.
False solace I have found in this pale moonlight
and in your eyes I see a growing fire.
Fire burning.
Fire of resolved.
Fire of love.
Moonlight is the reflection,
a pale imitation seeking salvation
never knowing
it is locked forever in eternity's embrace,
elliptical and repetitious,
endless in pursuing itself.
It is these eyes,
this fire that warms my cold blood.
This love that awakens a soul
that was forever lost
in this pale cold light.
Heated only by dying coals,
silence spreading this ill boded plight.
It was these eyes that gave me hope,
You are the One who gave breath to these lungs
and whose love
causes this heart to beat twice as fast
whenever You pass by.
What fragments remained
You gathered and held.
Mending,
Loving,
Restoring,
giving and rebirthing
this frail life.
Peeling back layer after lie
and remaining faithful
despite my frailty
and the fragility of this Heart.
You broke this stone,
You ripped aparts the curtain,
severing the grand lie
and crossed this impossible ocean.
All while pale moonlight bathes the ground,
reflecting the grass
and in the water.
But it is Your eyes I see,
the fire that brought me to life,
once again.
*sigh*
I'm supposed to love you...to forgive and support you...but of everyone of everything that has happened...I hate you the most.
I despise you...death would never be sufficient for a worthless waste of human life that you are in every moment of every day.
Your continual existence is a plague, a splinter in my mind that will never let me rest.
I despise you...death would never be sufficient for a worthless waste of human life that you are in every moment of every day.
Your continual existence is a plague, a splinter in my mind that will never let me rest.
Red Heart Deficient
I am this incessant drip
I am the lonely creep
I am the tears you never weep
and I am the every subtle rip
being a tear in your soul.
Every single slip of the soul
letting you know
that this hole
letting the voices fall and echo
reverberating through your vertebra.
Echo and scream
just letting you be
swallowed pride
and false dreams.
I'm sick, sick
so very sick.
Your voice chills my spine
and the lipstick
just makes sick.
Red in sight,
red in mind
with little thought to go.
White clouds,
pale lace of the divine
just make life
this life
so much more of a decline.
Sick,
so very sick.
I'll never know these words
because my mind is stolen,
just like my heart being blurred
and these false words that never begun.
I can hide in this crevice
and pray You pass by,
destroying all of this
passing by in Holy fury
and letting Your voice,
still and silent
just pass by.
Just for the record,
I hate what this has begun
what this all has become.
What good, what may be worth it,
I haven't seen.
This insufficient life
is not enough exchange for the pain.
I am.
I am me.
Neither saint nor demon.
Simply me.
I am the lonely creep
I am the tears you never weep
and I am the every subtle rip
being a tear in your soul.
Every single slip of the soul
letting you know
that this hole
letting the voices fall and echo
reverberating through your vertebra.
Echo and scream
just letting you be
swallowed pride
and false dreams.
I'm sick, sick
so very sick.
Your voice chills my spine
and the lipstick
just makes sick.
Red in sight,
red in mind
with little thought to go.
White clouds,
pale lace of the divine
just make life
this life
so much more of a decline.
Sick,
so very sick.
I'll never know these words
because my mind is stolen,
just like my heart being blurred
and these false words that never begun.
I can hide in this crevice
and pray You pass by,
destroying all of this
passing by in Holy fury
and letting Your voice,
still and silent
just pass by.
Just for the record,
I hate what this has begun
what this all has become.
What good, what may be worth it,
I haven't seen.
This insufficient life
is not enough exchange for the pain.
I am.
I am me.
Neither saint nor demon.
Simply me.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Jonah 1 Notes
http://www.keyway.ca/htm2002/ancassy.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonah
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_Jonah
1-2 One day long ago, God's Word came to Jonah, Amittai's son: "Up on your feet and on your way to the big city of Nineveh! Preach to them. They're in a bad way and I can't ignore it any longer."
-The Word of God coming...akin to spiritual conviction...also in reading, hearing and the need for application.
-The sins and crimes of the Assyrian empire were apparently great, so much so that they were being warned to repent...turn away from their sins...conquering and enslaving.
-Blind political support for a government being bad...governments are made of people, fallible, sinful people in need of God's love.
-At what point was Nineveh destroyed after this fact?
-Preach to them...to the people...bring the message of God's love, Holy perfect love which demands we abandon our selfish pursuit or something bigger...something higher...more profound...more beautiful then what we could ever hope to achieve on our own.
-----
3 But Jonah got up and went the other direction to Tarshish, running away from God. He went down to the port of Joppa and found a ship headed for Tarshish. He paid the fare and went on board, joining those going to Tarshish—as far away from God as he could get.
-Jonah heard God speak...heard the voice and ran. He was trying to head as far as geographically possible from the Assyrian's.
-Why did he run? Fear of those who conquered the Northern Kingdom? Fear of death? Being mocked and executed for daring to strut into the capital of those who were repressing his people?
-A Moses Jonah was not.
-As a general rule, racism against Gentiles was high from the religious Jewish perspective...this idea that God chose the Jews and damn the rest of the world.
-Was it from Jonah's perspective that this was a suicide/instant martyrdom ticket from God? In Jonah's mind...'Why was God telling him to go to such a disgusting, subhuman people? Why has God abandoned His people to such a heathen people? Why would I preach that they should repent before they are destroyed?"
-----
4-6 But God sent a huge storm at sea, the waves towering.
The ship was about to break into pieces. The sailors were terrified. They called out in desperation to their gods. They threw everything they were carrying overboard to lighten the ship. Meanwhile, Jonah had gone down into the hold of the ship to take a nap. He was sound asleep. The captain came to him and said, "What's this? Sleeping! Get up! Pray to your god! Maybe your god will see we're in trouble and rescue us."
-A contrast with Jesus sleeping on the boat in Luke 8:22-25
-Another ship with experienced sailors terrified for their lives and the prophet that is on the boat with them is sleeping through the storm.
-----
7 Then the sailors said to one another, "Let's get to the bottom of this. Let's draw straws to identify the culprit on this ship who's responsible for this disaster."
So they drew straws. Jonah got the short straw.
-Lot casting to determine 'who did it'.
-Drawing lots could be looked as being akin to an attempt to entice the divine to speak on various issues.
-How often do we turn on each other like rabid animals, accusing each other of being a bigger sinner...and somehow the cause of God's wrath at every small point in life?
-Is God simply attempting to punish and kill those who are in the wrong?
-Is God concerned simply with morality for its own sake? Cross reference with Matthew 9: 9-13 ...where are we in this mess? Are we making storms, egging the storms on or are we listening to those in pain...those panicking and without hope?
-----
8 Then they grilled him: "Confess. Why this disaster? What is your work? Where do you come from? What country? What family?"
-I get this picture in my head of the 'Life Boat' Donald Miller is talking about in "Searching for God Knows What"...this religious little tug boat where people are fighting to shove one another overboard...rights and lefts...conservative and liberals...these silly and unneeded squabbles over who God loves more...who will be first in the Kingdom...see Luke 9:46-56
-There is sad irony in that those called to Love and sacrifice all...are the first to attack, to kill and devour our own for the slightest advantage.
-----
9 He told them, "I'm a Hebrew. I worship God, the God of heaven who made sea and land."
10 At that, the men were frightened, really frightened, and said, "What on earth have you done!" As Jonah talked, the sailors realized that he was running away from God.
11 They said to him, "What are we going to do with you—to get rid of this storm?" By this time the sea was wild, totally out of control.
-It sort of feels like as soon as we find a problem...our first thought is covering it up, burning it and throwing it out. What if we stopped the scramble over who is number one...and focused on *why* things are so bad...the problems are spiritual and with out nature...and with all the REAL problems in the world do we actually need polarizing statements and derogatory attitudes which will just cause distractions from the real problems at hand?
-Yes...we're on a sinking raft...AIDS, cancer, depression and addiction are rampant...what has changed since Jesus walked? The only thing I have found is an increase in the numbers...there has never been a 'good old time' because every person...every honest person is broken and needs life restored and life given again.
-Do we Christians actually believe God made the universe? Both the physical and spiritual reams? Do we sincerely believe EVERY human life is worth while? At what point do we start placing value on humans, on love and exchanging it like some cheap stock market? At what point does the belief in the Divine lead to action? At least something MORE than a thinly veiled attempt at sincerity.
-----
12 Jonah said, "Throw me overboard, into the sea. Then the storm will stop. It's all my fault. I'm the cause of the storm. Get rid of me and you'll get rid of the storm."
13 But no. The men tried rowing back to shore. They made no headway. The storm only got worse and worse, wild and raging.
14 Then they prayed to God, "O God! Don't let us drown because of this man's life, and don't blame us for his death. You are God. Do what you think is best."
-Actual responsibility?
-Stupid decisions lead to people getting hurt. Everyone makes them...confessing them and owning up to imperfections is hard as Hell because it means risking respect, honor and letting people know we are just like them.
-There is this heavy degree of arrogance that exists in ministry...this attempt to separate those 'called' to ministry and those who prefer to sit in the church pew for when Jesus comes back and He is going to want a warm seat. Where is the resolve to throw these things away...and chase authenticity...?
-----
15 They took Jonah and threw him overboard. Immediately the sea was quieted down.
16 The sailors were impressed, no longer terrified by the sea, but in awe of God. They worshiped God, offered a sacrifice, and made vows.
-Accidental serving God...it feels like genuine ministry happens by accident...that our approaches are so lame, so lacking in sincerity that it takes God working in spite of us to have someone realize the implications of Christ and the cross.
-Love requires sacrifice...and somehow God uses our mistakes to do good.
-These sailors would never have known of God without Jonah deciding to run away.
-Being used in spite of our best efforts to prove God wrong.
-----
17 Then God assigned a huge fish to swallow Jonah. Jonah was in the fish's belly three days and nights.
-Jesus mentioned a 'sign of Jonah', see Matthew 12:38-45
-Jesus being that sign? In the grave for three days...?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonah
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_Jonah
1-2 One day long ago, God's Word came to Jonah, Amittai's son: "Up on your feet and on your way to the big city of Nineveh! Preach to them. They're in a bad way and I can't ignore it any longer."
-The Word of God coming...akin to spiritual conviction...also in reading, hearing and the need for application.
-The sins and crimes of the Assyrian empire were apparently great, so much so that they were being warned to repent...turn away from their sins...conquering and enslaving.
-Blind political support for a government being bad...governments are made of people, fallible, sinful people in need of God's love.
-At what point was Nineveh destroyed after this fact?
-Preach to them...to the people...bring the message of God's love, Holy perfect love which demands we abandon our selfish pursuit or something bigger...something higher...more profound...more beautiful then what we could ever hope to achieve on our own.
-----
3 But Jonah got up and went the other direction to Tarshish, running away from God. He went down to the port of Joppa and found a ship headed for Tarshish. He paid the fare and went on board, joining those going to Tarshish—as far away from God as he could get.
-Jonah heard God speak...heard the voice and ran. He was trying to head as far as geographically possible from the Assyrian's.
-Why did he run? Fear of those who conquered the Northern Kingdom? Fear of death? Being mocked and executed for daring to strut into the capital of those who were repressing his people?
-A Moses Jonah was not.
-As a general rule, racism against Gentiles was high from the religious Jewish perspective...this idea that God chose the Jews and damn the rest of the world.
-Was it from Jonah's perspective that this was a suicide/instant martyrdom ticket from God? In Jonah's mind...'Why was God telling him to go to such a disgusting, subhuman people? Why has God abandoned His people to such a heathen people? Why would I preach that they should repent before they are destroyed?"
-----
4-6 But God sent a huge storm at sea, the waves towering.
The ship was about to break into pieces. The sailors were terrified. They called out in desperation to their gods. They threw everything they were carrying overboard to lighten the ship. Meanwhile, Jonah had gone down into the hold of the ship to take a nap. He was sound asleep. The captain came to him and said, "What's this? Sleeping! Get up! Pray to your god! Maybe your god will see we're in trouble and rescue us."
-A contrast with Jesus sleeping on the boat in Luke 8:22-25
-Another ship with experienced sailors terrified for their lives and the prophet that is on the boat with them is sleeping through the storm.
-----
7 Then the sailors said to one another, "Let's get to the bottom of this. Let's draw straws to identify the culprit on this ship who's responsible for this disaster."
So they drew straws. Jonah got the short straw.
-Lot casting to determine 'who did it'.
-Drawing lots could be looked as being akin to an attempt to entice the divine to speak on various issues.
-How often do we turn on each other like rabid animals, accusing each other of being a bigger sinner...and somehow the cause of God's wrath at every small point in life?
-Is God simply attempting to punish and kill those who are in the wrong?
-Is God concerned simply with morality for its own sake? Cross reference with Matthew 9: 9-13 ...where are we in this mess? Are we making storms, egging the storms on or are we listening to those in pain...those panicking and without hope?
-----
8 Then they grilled him: "Confess. Why this disaster? What is your work? Where do you come from? What country? What family?"
-I get this picture in my head of the 'Life Boat' Donald Miller is talking about in "Searching for God Knows What"...this religious little tug boat where people are fighting to shove one another overboard...rights and lefts...conservative and liberals...these silly and unneeded squabbles over who God loves more...who will be first in the Kingdom...see Luke 9:46-56
-There is sad irony in that those called to Love and sacrifice all...are the first to attack, to kill and devour our own for the slightest advantage.
-----
9 He told them, "I'm a Hebrew. I worship God, the God of heaven who made sea and land."
10 At that, the men were frightened, really frightened, and said, "What on earth have you done!" As Jonah talked, the sailors realized that he was running away from God.
11 They said to him, "What are we going to do with you—to get rid of this storm?" By this time the sea was wild, totally out of control.
-It sort of feels like as soon as we find a problem...our first thought is covering it up, burning it and throwing it out. What if we stopped the scramble over who is number one...and focused on *why* things are so bad...the problems are spiritual and with out nature...and with all the REAL problems in the world do we actually need polarizing statements and derogatory attitudes which will just cause distractions from the real problems at hand?
-Yes...we're on a sinking raft...AIDS, cancer, depression and addiction are rampant...what has changed since Jesus walked? The only thing I have found is an increase in the numbers...there has never been a 'good old time' because every person...every honest person is broken and needs life restored and life given again.
-Do we Christians actually believe God made the universe? Both the physical and spiritual reams? Do we sincerely believe EVERY human life is worth while? At what point do we start placing value on humans, on love and exchanging it like some cheap stock market? At what point does the belief in the Divine lead to action? At least something MORE than a thinly veiled attempt at sincerity.
-----
12 Jonah said, "Throw me overboard, into the sea. Then the storm will stop. It's all my fault. I'm the cause of the storm. Get rid of me and you'll get rid of the storm."
13 But no. The men tried rowing back to shore. They made no headway. The storm only got worse and worse, wild and raging.
14 Then they prayed to God, "O God! Don't let us drown because of this man's life, and don't blame us for his death. You are God. Do what you think is best."
-Actual responsibility?
-Stupid decisions lead to people getting hurt. Everyone makes them...confessing them and owning up to imperfections is hard as Hell because it means risking respect, honor and letting people know we are just like them.
-There is this heavy degree of arrogance that exists in ministry...this attempt to separate those 'called' to ministry and those who prefer to sit in the church pew for when Jesus comes back and He is going to want a warm seat. Where is the resolve to throw these things away...and chase authenticity...?
-----
15 They took Jonah and threw him overboard. Immediately the sea was quieted down.
16 The sailors were impressed, no longer terrified by the sea, but in awe of God. They worshiped God, offered a sacrifice, and made vows.
-Accidental serving God...it feels like genuine ministry happens by accident...that our approaches are so lame, so lacking in sincerity that it takes God working in spite of us to have someone realize the implications of Christ and the cross.
-Love requires sacrifice...and somehow God uses our mistakes to do good.
-These sailors would never have known of God without Jonah deciding to run away.
-Being used in spite of our best efforts to prove God wrong.
-----
17 Then God assigned a huge fish to swallow Jonah. Jonah was in the fish's belly three days and nights.
-Jesus mentioned a 'sign of Jonah', see Matthew 12:38-45
-Jesus being that sign? In the grave for three days...?
Jonah 1
1-2 One day long ago, God's Word came to Jonah, Amittai's son: "Up on your feet and on your way to the big city of Nineveh! Preach to them. They're in a bad way and I can't ignore it any longer." 3 But Jonah got up and went the other direction to Tarshish, running away from God. He went down to the port of Joppa and found a ship headed for Tarshish. He paid the fare and went on board, joining those going to Tarshish—as far away from God as he could get.
4-6 But God sent a huge storm at sea, the waves towering.
The ship was about to break into pieces. The sailors were terrified. They called out in desperation to their gods. They threw everything they were carrying overboard to lighten the ship. Meanwhile, Jonah had gone down into the hold of the ship to take a nap. He was sound asleep. The captain came to him and said, "What's this? Sleeping! Get up! Pray to your god! Maybe your god will see we're in trouble and rescue us."
7 Then the sailors said to one another, "Let's get to the bottom of this. Let's draw straws to identify the culprit on this ship who's responsible for this disaster."
So they drew straws. Jonah got the short straw.
8 Then they grilled him: "Confess. Why this disaster? What is your work? Where do you come from? What country? What family?"
9 He told them, "I'm a Hebrew. I worship God, the God of heaven who made sea and land."
10 At that, the men were frightened, really frightened, and said, "What on earth have you done!" As Jonah talked, the sailors realized that he was running away from God.
11 They said to him, "What are we going to do with you—to get rid of this storm?" By this time the sea was wild, totally out of control.
12 Jonah said, "Throw me overboard, into the sea. Then the storm will stop. It's all my fault. I'm the cause of the storm. Get rid of me and you'll get rid of the storm."
13 But no. The men tried rowing back to shore. They made no headway. The storm only got worse and worse, wild and raging.
14 Then they prayed to God, "O God! Don't let us drown because of this man's life, and don't blame us for his death. You are God. Do what you think is best."
15 They took Jonah and threw him overboard. Immediately the sea was quieted down.
16 The sailors were impressed, no longer terrified by the sea, but in awe of God. They worshiped God, offered a sacrifice, and made vows.
17 Then God assigned a huge fish to swallow Jonah. Jonah was in the fish's belly three days and nights.
4-6 But God sent a huge storm at sea, the waves towering.
The ship was about to break into pieces. The sailors were terrified. They called out in desperation to their gods. They threw everything they were carrying overboard to lighten the ship. Meanwhile, Jonah had gone down into the hold of the ship to take a nap. He was sound asleep. The captain came to him and said, "What's this? Sleeping! Get up! Pray to your god! Maybe your god will see we're in trouble and rescue us."
7 Then the sailors said to one another, "Let's get to the bottom of this. Let's draw straws to identify the culprit on this ship who's responsible for this disaster."
So they drew straws. Jonah got the short straw.
8 Then they grilled him: "Confess. Why this disaster? What is your work? Where do you come from? What country? What family?"
9 He told them, "I'm a Hebrew. I worship God, the God of heaven who made sea and land."
10 At that, the men were frightened, really frightened, and said, "What on earth have you done!" As Jonah talked, the sailors realized that he was running away from God.
11 They said to him, "What are we going to do with you—to get rid of this storm?" By this time the sea was wild, totally out of control.
12 Jonah said, "Throw me overboard, into the sea. Then the storm will stop. It's all my fault. I'm the cause of the storm. Get rid of me and you'll get rid of the storm."
13 But no. The men tried rowing back to shore. They made no headway. The storm only got worse and worse, wild and raging.
14 Then they prayed to God, "O God! Don't let us drown because of this man's life, and don't blame us for his death. You are God. Do what you think is best."
15 They took Jonah and threw him overboard. Immediately the sea was quieted down.
16 The sailors were impressed, no longer terrified by the sea, but in awe of God. They worshiped God, offered a sacrifice, and made vows.
17 Then God assigned a huge fish to swallow Jonah. Jonah was in the fish's belly three days and nights.
Degenerative Heart
The words are write...these things aren't right, they are mere perceptions hiding in the realm of smoke and mirrors.
I hate what I have become.
I need to cut the cancer out but I'm afraid it'll take my heart.
If I could I would run away from this place, from everyone I have even known and go into exile. Find a desert cave and pray for death. Looking in the mirror and seeing how false, how fake I am when I claim to carry and champion Truth...I don't know if it's the disease but I just want to vomit.
This is going to take some serious thought...serious...so serious...
I hate what I have become.
I need to cut the cancer out but I'm afraid it'll take my heart.
If I could I would run away from this place, from everyone I have even known and go into exile. Find a desert cave and pray for death. Looking in the mirror and seeing how false, how fake I am when I claim to carry and champion Truth...I don't know if it's the disease but I just want to vomit.
This is going to take some serious thought...serious...so serious...
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
I used to have such qualms about the whole doctrine of total depravity...but more and more each day do I see this living death running through my veins...like all the years of my life are just pushing down on me.
I hate these feelings...it's like...I breath and exhale toxin...the Love isn't based on who I should be but who I am...so why do I find it so hard to just accept it? Why do I have to live and die based upon my performances?
I'm so sick.
Sick of the lies and false parables,
bile rushing from my heart.
Such superfluous, such archaic, such viable vile things revolve around...giving birth to lies...fables...myths of self security...lies that everything will regain its status quo like nature...sick, so sick, so very sick.
It is cutting deep, so deep and red.
I hate these feelings...it's like...I breath and exhale toxin...the Love isn't based on who I should be but who I am...so why do I find it so hard to just accept it? Why do I have to live and die based upon my performances?
I'm so sick.
Sick of the lies and false parables,
bile rushing from my heart.
Such superfluous, such archaic, such viable vile things revolve around...giving birth to lies...fables...myths of self security...lies that everything will regain its status quo like nature...sick, so sick, so very sick.
It is cutting deep, so deep and red.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
"Sure Shot" - The OC Supertones
I wanna do the right thing.
I wanna be the sure shot.
I wanna have my mind straight.
I wanna have my point got.
I wanna be a good man,
I wanna have my act down.
I wanna be the future
and I wanna be right now.
Sometimes I feel
like I can change the world.
But I don't know where to start.
I dig and come up empty,
clutching an empty heart.
I wanna see a life change.
I wanna see a new man.
I wanna fight the good fight.
I wanna take the right stand.
I wanna be like Jesus.
I wanna pour my heart out.
I wanna pick my cross up.
I wanna hear the mob shout.
I'm wide awake
and thinking about the cross,
the Trinity apart.
I dig and come up empty,
clutching an empty heart.
I wanna be the sure shot.
I wanna have my mind straight.
I wanna have my point got.
I wanna be a good man,
I wanna have my act down.
I wanna be the future
and I wanna be right now.
Sometimes I feel
like I can change the world.
But I don't know where to start.
I dig and come up empty,
clutching an empty heart.
I wanna see a life change.
I wanna see a new man.
I wanna fight the good fight.
I wanna take the right stand.
I wanna be like Jesus.
I wanna pour my heart out.
I wanna pick my cross up.
I wanna hear the mob shout.
I'm wide awake
and thinking about the cross,
the Trinity apart.
I dig and come up empty,
clutching an empty heart.
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