Red Heart Deficient

I am this incessant drip
I am the lonely creep
I am the tears you never weep
and I am the every subtle rip
being a tear in your soul.

Every single slip of the soul
letting you know
that this hole
letting the voices fall and echo
reverberating through your vertebra.

Echo and scream
just letting you be
swallowed pride
and false dreams.

I'm sick, sick
so very sick.
Your voice chills my spine
and the lipstick
just makes sick.

Red in sight,
red in mind
with little thought to go.
White clouds,
pale lace of the divine
just make life
this life
so much more of a decline.

Sick,
so very sick.
I'll never know these words
because my mind is stolen,
just like my heart being blurred
and these false words that never begun.

I can hide in this crevice
and pray You pass by,
destroying all of this
passing by in Holy fury
and letting Your voice,
still and silent
just pass by.

Just for the record,
I hate what this has begun
what this all has become.
What good, what may be worth it,
I haven't seen.
This insufficient life
is not enough exchange for the pain.

I am.
I am me.
Neither saint nor demon.
Simply me.