Copyright infringement is just my way of saying 'hello!'
Speaking of which:
"All material on here is copyrighted (2007-2023 + into ad-infinitum) and belongs to me/myself or their respective owner(s), please do not distribute without permission"
I have done research for over a dozen schools and has come to a terrifying realization: comparatively speaking the University of Mobile was actually moderately priced.
Enough numbers for tonight...a nap and then church!
Wow...there are still pictures of me on the University of Mobile's website...rocking my longer hair during that odd freshman semester!
You go young, naive, less angry and angst ridden eighteen year old Matthew!
Don't let the man, finances or the drama destroy you!
Someday I too am confused as to how exactly I am Southern Baptist.
Then I remember Dr.Mashburn and recall how if that man asked I would drop everything and charge into Hell blindfolded.
The single best teacher and source of inspiration I have ever had in my short twenty three year old self. And I ended up in his intro to Philosophy class simply because I misread the class abbreviation in the handbook that listed the class requirements.
I absolutely love this article he wrote back for a newspaper in the Mobile area: http://www.theharbinger.org/articles/plural/christia.html
It is almost a word for word account for his lecture he gives about Christianity in his World Religion class.
I think one of my biggest struggles is trying not to write off other Christians (Southern Baptist or otherwise) as all being fire breathing, extreme fundamental, legalistic loonies that sick to destroy and judge me. It's this sort of attitude that breeds mistrust and destroys cooperation.
Some fundamentals of belief cannot be compromised...but me getting lost in some of the petty things is sad...it's perpetuating that which I am most afraid of.
Ironically enough.
Love God, love others...may seem overly simplified but love, true love can and will change the world. I'm trying to exercise the words liberal and conservative from my vocabulary because most of the time they are just hyperbole used to cause division and fights. It's the whole war rhetoric all over.
Christians aren't to wage a war against the culuture...in a ware you kill people, our job is to show people the live changing message of Christ so that they can know true and absolute freedom from the chains we put ourselves in every day and in so many ways.
The few things I believe in standing for are worth fighting for...but not the kind of fights that are against flesh and blood...but the kind involving a spiritual warfare.
I'm so sick of fighting the air...I want to feel Your love again...be drunk off of it...to just fall in Love once again and get lose in You and share that...show it in my life and then let it overflow.
"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm." -Ephesians 6:12-13
“It is the characteristic excellence of the strong man that he can bring momentous issues to the fore and make a decision about them. The weak are always forced to decide between alternatives they have not chosen themselves.” -Dietrich Bonhoeffer
"When attempts were later made to speak systematically about God and to describe His nature, men became more talkative. They spoke of God's aseity , His being grounded in Himself; they spoke of God's infinity in space and time, and therefore of God's eternity. And men spoke on the other hand of God's holiness and righteousness, mercifulness and patience. We must be clear that whatever we say of God in such human concepts can never be more than an indication of Him; no such concept can really conceive the nature of God. God is inconceivable." -Karl Barth
"And i think it's gonna be a long long time Till touch down brings me round again to find I'm not the man they think I am at home Oh no no no I'm a rocket man Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone"
Saturday, October 3, 2009
"I jump from every rooftop So high so far to fall I feel a million miles away I don't feel any thing at all"
Thursday, October 1, 2009
God I can't handle this.
I hate myself so much, so freaking much I need to do something...I have to do something to stop this madness...this insanity screaming in my ears.
Please help me not to do something stupid...I don't know how I can hang on.
Help. Please.
I am being mocked by my laptop.
It booted up windows normally, finally, then it shut itself down without me prompting it and now...it's stuck on the perpetual update that will never update.
Windows Vista - Still hasn't surpassed Windows ME in sucking but goodness...it is almost neck and neck at this point... ~_~
Chest pain is a new symptom...God I hope this doesn't get much worse tonight. I'll live...I just feel weak and...so...strange.
*sigh*
I can't win.
I can't find church...
It's weird reading over the past couple of years...keeping this blog is encouraging...well not because some problems have persisted over two years...but because I have hope that the dawn is coming.
Thank You for Your love...and everyone, thank you for reading this, for praying, for the messages.
I believe the morning sun Always gonna shine again and I believe a pot of gold Waits at every rainbow's end I believe in roses kissed with dew Why shouldn't I believe the same in you?
I believe in make-believe Fairy tales and lucky charms and I believe in promises Spoken as you cross your heart I believe in skies forever blue Why shouldn't I believe the same in you?
You may say I'm a fool Feelin' the way that I do You can call me Pollyanna Say I'm crazy as a loon I believe in silver linings And that's why I believe in you
I believe there'll come a day Maybe it will be tomorrow When the bluebird flies away All we have to do is follow I believe a dream can still come true Why shouldn't I believe the same in you?
You may say I'm a fool Feelin' the way that I do I believe in friends and laughter And the wonders love can do I believe in songs and magic And that's why I believe in you
You may say I'm a fool Feelin' this way about you There's not much I can do I'm gonna be this way my life through 'Cause I still believe in miracles I swear I've seen a few And the time will surely come When you can see my point of view I believe in second chances And that's why I believe in you
I want to believe in infinite possibilities, that Love, eternal Love wins. That the pain cannot last through the morning and that the Beauty the intoxicating Beauty that found me will carry me and never let me be the same. I need You more now than ever and more today and will need You more tomorrow carry me please. I need You.
"People who sin say this, that they had to, to survive. People who sin say this, that it's too late now to stop. The shadow called Sin dogs them steadily from behind, silently, without a word. Remorse and Agony are repeated, only to end up at Despair in the end. But the sinners just don't know, that if they'd only turn around, there is a light there, a light which keeps shining on them ever so warmly. A light that will never fade."
"Strong will can stir the heart, but a will too strong can cut off the hearts visibility. The sorrow of a man bewreathed of his family turns to hate, which eventually metamorphoses into the intent to kill. The man’s finger reaches for the trigger. Sins change people. Sin begets sin. But still, I want to believe, I want to believe in the heart, the heart that feels the sin."
Two days...no sleep...ah fine...I'll survive...this is nothing...I've done worse...
I am not really sure.
The less I know...the more intriguing it is but the more confusing it is too.
"And if you listen I can't call And if you jump, you just might fall And if you shout, I'll only hear you If I could stay then the night would give you up Stay then the day would keep its trust Stay with the demons you drowned Stay with the spirit I found Stay and the night would be enough"