Dreams Becoming Nightmares

The worst thing seems to be getting what we want.
Not what we need.
But what we want.

Nightmares are my reward for dreaming and dreaming too hard.

A statement that is a bit egocentric and full self-righteousness, yes but if you don't know that about me by now I don't think you ever will.

Literal nightmares.
Disturbing and upsetting enough that even seeing the painful scene last night, it because the fuel for my dreams.

Nightmares.

Whispers, voices from the other side of eternity, pressing from the aether and spinning into the chaos that runs the gauntlet of my nerve cells, neurological impulses making less sense today then they did yesterday.

Does it matter if I love you?
What if I always have loved you?
What if I had loved you since the beginning of time?

Impossibilities.
Words are meaningless.
The actions of a coward are nothing.

Negative reaction, not even two negative being able to make a positive because it is merely a wave of negative that creates, makes, breeds and...this.

This.

Do you see?

Can you see?

Does it matter?

Can it matter?

I keep wanting to withdraw.
At least that way I wouldn't have new hurts.
I could just let the current wounds fester.
I could create my own reality.
Which would be more real than this one.

Everything and nothing are playing out on the state.
Seeing, believing and failing to understand.
Why?
How?
Where?

Passing and falling, all over again.

Even the things I love I will begin to hate.
It is all just a matter of time.
Weakness.
And The Dark spreading and corrupting.