Broken Traffic Lights

Why do I care so much about little things that have no real value or meaning beside the petty and minute label I bestow upon them?

Why do I invest emotion and time into things that I know will wither, decay and be blown into the wind?

Why do I exhaust what little energy I have after being sick over something so temporal and fleeting?

Hope.
Faith.
Love.

Hope that despite the inward decay and pain, I will one day stand on distant shores.
Faith that the Love which has captivated me will follow through on every promise.
Love that is so weak and broken, but still I try to share.

The pain will never be avoidable as long as I am here.
I will stand.
It might seem absurd but even in my decay and pain, I refuse to quit.

Show me the frailty of my soul and the broken nature of my soul and I will smile.
The person who has lost everything is finally freed and capable of doing everything and anything.



I want to pretend I can be the apathetic bastard who shifts through life with no problem, using and discarding people left and right.

That isn't something I will choose.
The decay in my bones and taint in my blood will not make me betray that which I follow, the chivalry that demands I act.

Yes.
It's an inward struggle and battle.
But so is every important battle.


This heart is so weak, so small and dying.
But so capable of hope.

I will not quit.
But possibly I will fade.
Withdraw to heal.
Let the wounds be wrapped and soaked in hope.

So much time, all of it passing.
It will all be over soon.
Then I can go home.
No more pain, all the tears wiped away and love eternal.