I feel so tired...this semester feels like it has been longer than a month...more like several years.

Maybe I will graduate this spring...that way I will never have to step foot in this city or at this school again. That alone is something to look forward to.

I just am having trouble looking beyond the incredible amounts of pain I am in today, how I just don't know what to do...how to deal with being in so much pain...feeling so...disjointed and out of place.

How much...really matters that I try?
What in my life...is actually worth doing?
Anytime I can sit here and not be in pain feels like borrowed time I am rapidly running out of.

Oh well...people are people.
Can't really expect them to do anything except serve their best interests at the end of the day.
Sometimes they will surprise you by moving beyond their inner drive for self preservation...but it is certainly not something ever worth holding your breath over.

All of creation is slowly unwinding...as the world falls apart from the inside out.
This sort of...radiant decay as it were.
There is some good to be seen in it, much good when you dig deep.
Just...a good potion of hope seems to be based on willing blindness and building upon the misery of others...which is tragic in and of itself.

Progress that destroys, breaks and corrupts is never progress.
Just lightly veiled sin.