Falling into Sleep

Scratching echos
and vivid times,
split across worlds
and found again in this room.

I feel the life bleeding out
and I wonder why,
just why it was tried
when full well knowing
it couldn't, shouldn't
and never would work.

Periods of time wrapped in dimensional space.
I am sick of everything as it is not
and the forced delay of climax.
If I have my Jesus
why would I care about being married?

I wish relationships of all sorts were indeed for the weak
because I am so tried and too tired
to bring any of it together.

So much medication, so much pain, so much fear...
and it is just you and me here...what matters if others see?
Maybe it will either drive to or so far away from my faith
that they don't know what hit them.

It matters...it does not matter.
It's both.
It is also nothing all at once.
It is lies coming in through your headset
and your eyes bleeding from seeing pain.

If one was lucky people would just say he was insane,
the worst part might be trust
is that everything will work out
and one day I will be healed.

I want to say it matters but it is so hard
to make that last
to make the words stick
to be able to say what I mean
and truly mean it in words.

I lay here tortured by small images of flickering light
revealing my weaknesses and vividly illustrates
lies, fears, truths and hope...everything and nothing.
All a base formula of insanity.