So much going on...so many things, so many thoughts...

The air is somewhat cooler but still having some trouble breathing...ack...lousy lungs...why do you disdain me along with the rest of my body?

There is hope...unexpected beauty in this dark night...


It is just...struggling with who I am takes its toll after a while.
I want to be faithful.
That is all I want.
But I am afraid of the pain I cause...and all the hurt...choices, decisions, feelings, life...expression.

I miss art.
I miss what felt like the Muse directly injecting ideas into my soul.
I also miss the peace that comes from silence and obedience.

I can smile.
I will smile.