Psalm 82

"“How long will you hand down unjust decisions
by favoring the wicked?
“Give justice to the poor and the orphan;
uphold the rights of the oppressed and the destitute.
Rescue the poor and helpless;
deliver them from the grasp of evil people."
-Psalm 82:2-4

A thought that has been heavy on my mind lately is Your justice...what it means exactly for you to not only deliver justice but what you see when you see our sin...and what it means for you to see Jesus' death instead of our filth.

It seems impossible, it certainly is improbable that you would love and desire to be near sinners...that you would wish to eat with me and keep company with me and the rest of the 'sinners'.

What is this fleeting life?
Thousands of innocent children are dying a day...where is their justice?
Who stands up in defense of them?
How can you stand by while we have made such a mess of things...while there is such utter misery?
Is free will worth enough to you that you would see so many innocents not only suffer but die so excruciatingly?

Even my pain...the daily struggles I have to function...I know I am not innocent. I have sinned against you and though I have placed my faith in Christ...I still feel I deserve the pain...but that isn't right...is it?

To be made new is to be made new...all sin has been wiped away, all the horrors forgiven...it's just like You have opened the door and you are waiting for me to step through into new life...a life to where I see this gross injustice and I am supposed to do something...but I can't, not on my own anyway.

This love, this beauty...this hope...is more than I could expect...and I want to learn how to be loved by you...and that you like me and want me near.
Maybe I can start doing some sort of good after I learn that...