Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Faithfulness Dear Faithfulness

Why do I not take the cross more seriously?
All the stupid bitter thoughts I have are nothing compared to what is true...what is any of this madness we live and die for when compared to burning all of this and finding true peace? True love in You?

I'm finding everything but what I'm truly looking for and desiring...everything but that peace, that hope, that genuine letting go and loosing myself...seriously...what is any of this worth? This flesh, this being?

I want...I need to find peace away from myself...I want to loose the need to worship this moment of being...I want to forget what it means to be intoxicated from my own lusts and the next shiny thing that grabs my heart.

I want to be faithful
I want to remember the cross.
I want the blood of Jesus that brings forgiveness to mean something in my daily life.
I don't want to beat people over the head with religious fervor but I want them to see You as the only giving life to these dead and decaying bones.

You are the reason I breath.
I want to be faithful.
More than anything else...I just want this to all burn and fall away...and leave who or whatever my true self is.

Please.

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