Casting Aside to Hell and Heaven

Creeping, falling thoughts
just echoing
as the distance grows.

Hellish sparks
fly from my eyes
as I am carried
just dragged
and pulled
by this intoxicating madness.

Sadness.
Anger.
Pain.
Fear.
Lust.
Confusion.
I'm nothing better than an animal
a sick creatue
just begging to be put down.

God just knows how lost I really am.

What does it matter
when the only one you want to help
you only hurt
and push further
and further away?

What does one say
when it seems the rain that falls
does nothing
to cover the shame
and the growing self hate?

These words are as worthless
as every time
I ever professed caring
or love
or hope
or faith.

My faith and love
are nothing more than self serving
ramblings of a child
who has lost his way
and is plummeting
down this rabbit hole.

There is no Wonder Land,
just a Hellish nightmare
waiting for me
while I hope you,
yes
you blessed muse
are able to find solace,
the peace beyond everlasting peace.

As for I and I,
there is a short time before impact
but I must rip my soul apart
just to put it back in place.

Maybe there is some sort of hope
or it's all a delusion.
Either way
life has grown unbearably long
without thy aid.

I will walk this Inferno.
I will plumb the depths
and taste the bitterness
of every sin
and see the twisted nature
of those eternally damned.

I will walk without Virgil
and cast aside these broken weapons
which only served to damn me further.
Maybe I will find you
at the gates of Paradiso
like Dante's Beatrice,
but most likely
this is nothing more than a dream
and I will wake to the rain falling on me
as I have been laying prone in the gutter
where I left my resolve and faith.



"But already my desire and my will
were being turned like a wheel, all at one speed,
by the Love which moves the sun and the other stars."