After spending most of the day in bed sick, making an excessively painful drive...I should have just went to bed instead of indulging in my asinine curiosity.

Life is such a paradox...a wonderful burden and painful blessing to carry.
The weakness of my flesh begs for release, it infiltrates my soul and begs a path i must not walk.

But here, oh here my soul is to stay for many fleeing days more.
Is the burden self appointed or was I called to carry the pain of others as my own?

"The gate to my heart has been weld shut
with the splendor of my aspirations closed in
how many years have we waited
for a ship that never set sail?
And how many days have we wasted
chasing a love that was not our own?

Is this your salvation?
Is this all you can give?
I will not stand in reflection
of someone else's dream"


Every megalomaniac bathed idea to cross my lips and mind...
Every jagged emotion cutting my heart as it slips out my mouth...
Every pain.
Every joy.
All of this...for you.
These broken dreams and shattered ideals.
Every last burst of venom I wish to shed for you.

Take this broken soul.
May it yet give you praise.