Preface

My center of balance is off and it feels like falling, it feels like failing and while you can watch for free, the only price is my raising pain.

I never intended to be on display but while we're on the subject I might as well continue this freak show the best way I know how, self deprecation and prayers that just maybe things will end soon enough.

I live in my own world.
The realm I constructed from me being and acting as such a parasite upon imagination.
Nothing feels real, just as you never did.
I wouldn't know truth any better than the lies I hold so dear.
Everything passes in various shades of gray, as I hope for something more.

Is everything damned into the place of fear?
I want to know truth.
I want to know what I can trust.
How long until Love is all that remains?

I'm tired of life, I would quit if I could.
Just let go and be free of being so tired and fake.
Why is it I make such stupid choices in life?
Why can't I just bite my tongue and let things die?

I do not want to resign myself, regulate myself in this box.
All I want is all I want and all I want is to breath.
I just want to live without fear.
Is it too much to ask for life and to laugh?
Is it too inconceivable that I tire of games and perpetual pain?

I want to run,
just run into the arms
of the love
of the Divine Lover
and the only One who knows
and will know this broken soul.
Trembling hands
and a broken soul
and a resigned sigh
of not knowing
this way
and path.

Really, this is me.
Are you so surprised?
I am.
Enough to break this mirror and walk away.