Love

Why don't I love more?

Why am I so selfish and short tempered with those I'm supposed to love?

I'm so sick of myself...and trying to serve myself, it is like every time I think I've found You my Love, my Lord...I just have to start back over because I am worshiping who I THINK You are...as opposed to who YOU really are.

I'm so sick of myself, I want to just throw up this false gospel of works, this false gospel of self indulgence, this false gospel of self that demands that I be a god, hallowed be my name.

This is what I hate, I wish I could let go instead of beating myself senselessly.

Could You draw near to me again?
Pull close and wrap me in Your love again?

I want to be angry and act out in hate...but this isn't me...this isn't who I want to be.

I want to be yours...I want to be a son again...I want to be cleaned of all this filth, I want my lips to be purged of sin and to have my heart cleansed and to feel Your Spirit upon me again...please do not forsake or forget me.

Don't leave me in this night, this dark night that I'm so sick of me in.