A Lost Verse for Your Time

Endless spaces devoid,
expunged of meaning
by a jet black heart.
"Meaningless, utterly meaningless!" cries the teacher
as I seek to expose this fallacy,
the lies I wear on my sleeve.

The only person who believe me
was the sickly face in the mirror,
too pale to be alive
and too dead to care about such trifles.

Every dream I chased,
every fallacy I lived
is this song
I've sung
since the beginning.
Hallowed desecration
is my specialty
because none can know the truth
for I believed every lie I spouted.

If only it were as simple of a matter
as killing this weak and fetid thing,
letting it starve to death
in the isolated chamber it grew in,
to let it decay
and instead
of letting it finish transforming
into the fel beast it is to become.

Dreams twisted,
nether things,
hopeless thoughts of the divine
while I plummet
falling and bleeding
from the heights from which I disgraced
with the profane of my soul.
Such vile lies,
such twisted truth,
all for my sake
and the lies I told
just to keep you safe.

I love myself enough to worship myself
and hated you just enough
to factor you into my plans
until it meant
reality had to rear its head
and cause everything I believed
to be consumed in flames.

How can I believe such falseness?
What weight is this I carry?

It's all entwined
caught up in your name
as I try to flee from here.
Never have I saw this as I do now
how fairly unconcerned I am with all
unless it factors into my game
and how things must revolve around me.

Mercy I cry,
mercy I need
as it's grace that I will plea
and love I thirst for
as I lay here in this darkest night
being baptize in hues of gray.
Broken Alabaster jars
as I long to be
long to be more than just this mud
and for this heart
to be formed from more than just clay.