I want to hide, I'm afraid of what I am opening now.

Just speaking seems like a sin and I see no real way out.

I keep looking, trying to breath, begging for a way out and a way to see and everything is blank.

What is this?
What is going on?

I think it's less scary to be involved with questions because the answers are so definitive and terrifying.

I want to run away but I want better grammar.

Does it matter when I hurt as well?

I don't know how to answer these problems except to say not knowing is still in fact a type of knowing, just not one people are happy with.

Should I move?
Am I just being delusional?
If I can beg, borrow or metaphorically steal the money I'm going...

...just where is up to You and...maybe...

...but if I am not careful it will be nothing more than second guesses about guesses and God the pain, the pain of change and knowing that You love me enough to never leave me here.

Bless me even if it kills me Father.