Act

I cannot just act.

There must be justification...reasoning behind the action...the purpose leading to the action that will inevitable lead to a reaction.

There has to be a process.

There is a process.

Without there is no meaning in the behavior and actions.

Action and reaction...cause and effect.

God made...things are...the Lamb loves because He is...there is accountability and an accounting...but it is for freedom and love that Christ died...to free us from sin...not so that we could be slaved to ever changing whims of our broken hearts.

Is it possible to be whole?
To regain thoughts?
To feel again?

It's like a wine...some intoxication that pulls at my heart...I feel this ice around my heart melt and warmth flood into my body...I don't deserve it...I can't comprehend it...but it is something so vivid I want to share...I know I was born to share it.

How...and why...

I don't know...so much...I'm trying to understand...I want to...

I'm afraid I'm pushing things I shouldn't...but you know...I haven't slept in a long time and my brain is getting muddled...I'm still incredibly stressed out over crap from yesterday and I need to rest my mind for a couple of hours.

The world may not end soon...it will end too soon...but hopefully not before I wake up and am able to confront this enigmatic thought once more...and strive to understand Love as is...and find a place to be...to act.

God...just help...please.