Mondays, I Hate Mondays...

I do not like food...regardless of what I eat it feels like my stomach is on fire...my inside have liquid metal burning through them.

I refuse to believe in there being balance in karma...unless of course I'm being used as a whipping boy for other people's stomach sins.

I've just got to find a way to get calories and nutrients and cut everything else out. Maybe that will help reduce the searing pain...right now I'm just stuck in bed...my mind a growing source of unrest and ill at ease thoughts.

I'm not sitting here waiting on a change to find me...I just would like for the world to stop spinning long enough for me to stand up.

I have some optimistic thoughts...high thoughts of hope...maybe even of feeling loved...but for now I am just going to play those close to my chest. I don't want my heart escaping out on its own and running about with no restraint...freedom is an illusion...because it is more of a choice of who/what we shackle ourselves to...but the shackling can be good.



Is this going to be it?

Think carefully before you speak.

My mind and heart are in fragile states of denial, one small push and I might start believing again, almost as if none of this ever did exist.

Is time still a problem?
How about metaphysical boundaries?
The problem of self actualization?
How about realizing that being is not necessarily being?
It's a simple as knowing when a door is not a door...and that is when it is simply just ajar.

That simple riddle goes a long way in explaining everything to do with you.

Nothing and everything at the same time.

It's just that important.