Loud Words

I don't know.

I'm not sure what I want to do except throw up.

I can't put stuff into words...fire...confusion...things and things again.

I hate not being able to phrase things.

I want to understand why...why...why...but no words fall. Nothing that can help make sense of things. I want to get out of this Hell. I hate this place. This fake words. The hollow conversations...people not understanding...not managing to listen and God I'm just so enraged and sad and not able to take much more of this before I snap.

Before I can sleep.