Home Again

"As all things come to an end, even this story, a day came at last when they were in sight of the country where...(he)...had been born and bred, where the shapes of the land and of the trees were as well known to him as his hands and toes."
-'The Hobbit', JRR Tolkien

I am back home.

For now.

I have little intention of remaining here much longer if I can help it.

This morning an unexpected door was slammed open and if these dreams....these dreams we dare to dream...can truly come then September the first will act as a catalyst...a beginning...a door that stepping through will send me to the next part of my life.

It was an amazing few days on the road...serving and learning old lessons again. It felt like being wrapped in the arms of eternity...an eternity that came to an end to quickly.

All that remains is this door...this door which may open...and the thoughts.

Oh my, the thoughts.

"I lie here paralytic
Inside this soul
Screaming for you till my throat is numb
I wanna break out
I need a way out
I don’t believe that it’s gotta be this way
The worst is the waiting
In this womb I’m suffocating

Feel your presence filling up my lungs with oxygen
I take you in
I’ve died
Rebirthing now
I wanna live for love wanna live for You and me
Breathe for the first time now
I come alive somehow
Rebirthing now
I Wanna live my life wanna give you everything
Breathe for the first time now
I come alive somehow
-"Rebirthing", Skillet

I don't know where this may go...and if this is the wrong path...quiet my lips and humble me...break my legs, my arms and my back so that I may not bring forth shame...instead help me to leave this, my shame...my pride and this ego of needing attention behind.

It's lines in the sand...filled with blood by the Lamb slain from the foundation of this world...to right the wrongs of this fallen world...chief of whom is...

I needed oxygen...I was drowning in the waves of sorrow...of doubt and You rescued me. You took me by the hand and placed me on this rock. You gave me lips to sing and placed a new song in my heart, many will see, many will hear and fear.

How long?
How long?

The beginning always leads to an end which inevitably must be a new beginning...a new sunrise, a new song, a new reason to breath, a new reason to step forward into this life you have given me.

I'm wanting and aching to go to that fringe.
To see You standing in the cold and needing the help that...ironically enough only You can give.
You do enjoy Your paradoxes now, don't You?

Burn.
Now.
Please.
Leave no stone unturned, leave no crevice unchecked as long as daylight prevails.

""Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It's easy to see a smudge on your neighbor's face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, 'Let me wash your face for you,' when your own face is distorted by contempt? It's this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.

"Don't be flip with the sacred. Banter and silliness give no honor to God. Don't reduce holy mysteries to slogans. In trying to be relevant, you're only being cute and inviting sacrilege.

"Don't bargain with God. Be direct. Ask for what you need. This isn't a cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek game we're in. If your child asks for bread, do you trick him with sawdust? If he asks for fish, do you scare him with a live snake on his plate? As bad as you are, you wouldn't think of such a thing. You're at least decent to your own children. So don't you think the God who conceived you in love will be even better?

"Here is a simple, rule-of-thumb guide for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them. Add up God's Law and Prophets and this is what you get.""
-Matthew 7:1-12