Words Again

If I had words I would say them
if I had hope I would give it.
If I had breath I would share it
but all in all is this drowning feeling.

Relatively speaking it is nothing new.
Just a few more words added to a growing list.
A list just made of paper and a few markings,
nothing new and nothing exciting.
Just the totality of the past
summed up in insufficient terms
simplified so I might explain,
explain to who or what
I'll never know
but I'll offer my confession to the sky.

No right, no wrong
no left no right.
Simply cliches
disguised as more.
Well more like over simplification
in the guise of a disguise
so I can mask my true feelings
while pretending something is nothing
and nothing is more
when nothing is indeed something of nothing
and you are you and that is all I know.

Nothing more, nothing more.
Nothing less than pure honesty,
so I want nothing more.
This nothing is something.
I made it so.
A hollow space in my heart
never knowing it would grow.
But it has.
And will.
Every event pushing it wider
making life harder and tighter
and sanity less of an appeal.

The more I see
the less I feel.
The more I feel
the less I believe.
The harder it gets to see.
Much less be me.

It's coming full circle,
whatever that really means
in this out of place
rhetorical context.